It’s been a while since I’ve written one of these blogs, hasn’t it? With juggling school and other things I don’t really have an interest in this, but I decided now is probably a good time to write one as I have a lot of ideas and opinions to share, it might be an unpopular opinion, but it’s my opinion. Don’t like it? Then you don’t need to read this. This year we had a major family trip to Vietnam from 2024-2025 in the winter season. It was a very good trip to say the least, we got to visit many places, indulge in many different types of food in Vietnam, and learn about the history and culture of the country (albiet too much). It was a great trip, and I really liked it, however, there is one negative interaction, or I should probably say one negative collection of interactions with a certain person, Truong Giang. Now, you may be asking, why are you addressing him as “Truong Giang” instead of “Bac Truong”? You are right, I should be addressing him as Bac Truong. After all, he is my uncle, no? In Vietnamese (or in English) we address our uncles as “Bac XYZ” or “Uncle XYZ” for something called RESPECT, right? Now, let’s talk about where respect comes from and what it is. Respect is like admiration for someone, for who they are or their abilities. Respect comes in many forms and sizes, but I’m not here to give a lecture on what “Respect” is. Respect is usually earned, however, when it comes to family, it should be second nature to us. We shouldn’t be told to respect our cousins, we shouldn’t be told to respect our parents, siblings, brothers, etc. We should already know how to respect people, especially when it should be second nature. In this case, I should autonomously respect my uncle Bac Truong. That’s totally correct, you should respect your family members and the elderly. The saying “Respect your elders”, you’ve definitely heard of it. Now, here’s when it boils down to who you’re asking: Do you give out respect (or continue to give out respect) to people who might *not* deserve it? Well, that’s certainly a subjective topic. To me, it depends. I’d definitely give some respect to a stranger, I shouldn’t treat them in a trash manner, right? Now when it comes to Truong Giang, from my perspective, again *my opinion*, after my recent interactions with him, unfortunately, I don’t believe he would qualify as someone who would “receive respect” from me. Again, my opinion, and you might have a different one, but this is what I believe. Sure, you can say that you should *always* “Trust your Elders (AND family)”, and I’m not the type of person to remove my respect from you permanently. Sure, I might get a bit angered about what you do but I usually cools off shortly after. For example, I didn’t respect Nam back then when he picked on me right? However, after all this time and him reforming himself a bit, I can say that he is certainly a respectable person who has earned his respect from me again. Before we dive deeper, let’s talk about the elephant in the room: Why did I lose my respect for Truong Giang? Well, let’s backtrack BACK to the trip and discuss what happened and went wrong, shall we? When we landed in Hue, we got on a bus to that would drive us all the way up to Hanoi. Before the trip, my dad told me if we could use the two-way radios to speak easier on the bus such as addressing landmarks and other stuff. I agreed, and positioned the radios apart from each other on the bus, originally on the luggage bins overhead but then clipped them to the back of seats as the audio was just not clear and sounded like a total mess. I get it, some of you might not like it and that’s alright, either due to maybe you’re trying to sleep or you just don’t want to hear the audio at that volume. In that case, feel free to let me know, and I can move it for you, no problem no questions asked. Feel free to even turn down the volume on it if you really want to, I don’t have an issue with that. What I DO have an issue with is when you take the radio and then move it without letting me know. For example, I kept noticing that Truong kept moving the radio from the outer aisle into the inner aisle to hang his stuff on it, and it was switched off. No big deal I though, I moved it to another area, a row behind or in front of him, or across I don’t remember exactly. Thought, “That’s probably good, it’s not in his seat area anymore so he won’t be bothered.” Wrong, he moves it again, and this goes on a few more times every time we stopped and I walk back and forth to make sure the radios are in check. I then decide, okay, fine, I’ll move it across the bus right? Now it’s on the opposite side of his column of seats (or row, not a good way to explain it), yet he keeps moving it. Now, the issue with people moving the radios is that when we finally get off at the last stop we have the chance of losing inventory. That means, one radio might go unaccounted for, I might think someone else took it with them off the bus as that usually happens, the bus leaves, and the radio is lost. We arrive at the final destination, and at this point I am not happy with Truong Giang repeatedly tampering with and moving my property WITHOUT notifying either me, or my Dad about it. When he could’ve just came up to me straightly, and told me that he didn’t appreciate the radio speakers being near him I would’ve moved the radios away from him no questions asked, and I even did this repeatedly without him asking me, but he continued to move them and switch them off. That, I have an issue with. What’s so hard with speaking up and asking me to remove a damn radio from your area? You’re literally my uncle, you don’t need to provide me with the same respect as I need to you, and yet you have an issue with talking to a fourteen year old to move a radio, simple thing that could’ve been solved in one simple conversation and yet you dragged it on. Now, this whole radio kuffle confused me at the end of the trip leg where I did a full check of the radios and noticed of course, one was missing. At this point, I lost track on whether he moved the radios or not, and reasonably so, he’s been moving them without notifying me or my Dad, CONTINUOUSLY. I confront him at the end of the ride telling him sternly, “Hey, where’s that radio? You keep moving it.” He’s not having it, and he doesn’t provide a helpful response and obviously not caring. After a bit, since I know he has been moving the radio repeatedly and may have misplaced it, I let him know that “I will be sending you an invoice for the lost radio to your email” letting him know that if that radio isn’t found, he would be on the hook for it. He’s pissed, and he states “Don’t talk to me”. In the end, I was able to recover that radio on the bus and all four radios are accounted for, so don’t worry. The following morning I also caught up to him again and let him know I waived the invoice because the radio was found. He replied with “Good.”, yeah, “good” is all you have to say? It’s good because you don’t have to pay and I don’t need to deal with an arrogant person who thinks they are above others in a self-centered way. You think it’s “Good” because you aren’t paying it? What kind of thinking is that? Until lunch that day, I walk up to him and I let him know that I certainly did not appreciate him continuously moving the radios without letting me know, and sternly telling him to instead maybe speaking up next time and politely notifying me that you were not satisfied with the radios being in your area and have us cooperate on moving it together so we can end it right there. He replies with “Yeah, don’t put the radios near me or my friends alright? Then we’re good.” I’m sorry? Don’t put the radio near you or your friends? Your friends didn’t tell me anything, YOU didn’t tell me anything, and you kept dragging it on. Simply let me know the first time, you don’t need to be all self-centered thinking you can get your way in all sorts of scenarios? There’s no need to act like you are the righteous person in this scenario, because you aren’t. Your arrogance could’ve caused the loss of my property (not to mention you continuously tampering with it) and making me bill you for it, and don’t act surprised when you get the bill when you lost property of someone else’s. After that long story, that is why Truong Giang has lost my respect for him, and not the type of “Oh you lost my respect for a bit, but it will cool off later”, no, this is the type where I can see who you actually are and make my judgement on if I should give you respect in the future. People will probably go “You still need to respect your elders, especially family.”, however, respect is second-nature when it comes to family, but to *what* degree? Do you continue giving autonomous respect to someone who has continuously acted arrogant? Do you give respect to somebody who believes they are above everyone else in a self-centered way? I don’t play by the rules “respect your elders to the fullest degree and forever no matter what they are or do”. Out of the three brothers and sisters Truong, you are the least respectable one. I have my respect for Bac Thuc and my Dad (Ngan), but not so much for you anymore. You’re the oldest one out of the three, and I can’t believe that you genuinely act like that: arrogant, and self-centered. You are the person who is not so “pretty” when looked at *too* closely. There’s a red line, Truong, and it’s called boundaries, and you need to take into account of that as everyone has them. I’m not very happy with you right now, and it’s probably going to be a grudge, but that’s just me. You might believe that you were right, but I would counter that with the points I have stated above. Set a better example for yourself, and your family. You certainly aren’t a “leading example” nor “respectable person” from my perspective. Next time we run into each other, don’t expect me to look at you with admiration, because I’ll be seeing you with skepticism. Reflect on what you did and don’t be so arrogant. Am I taking the fact he kept moving my radios repeatedly and tampering with them without consulting with me like a real man in the first place personally? One-hundred percent, I am definitely taking it personally and you better believe it. Just because you are an elder and my uncle does *NOT*, again, it absolutely does *NOT* give you the right to push me around and I will *NOT* tolerate that level of disrespect. It angers me how people believe that their age, relation to someone else, or status gives them the self-right of pushing others out of their way to get what they want. That’s not how society works, and you will get resistance, maybe not from other family members, but you will certainly get resistance from me Truong. Do better, and don’t be arrogant. Thanks for reading this blog.