update on my 8th grade year because ill regret and forget everything if i dont document these things. before we get specific, ms passer left. my english and literature teacher gave up on me within the first month of school. i personally thing she quit, but at the same time i dont. who knows. ms sledge (the only other english & literature teacher) says she got fired. which seems possible but still, ms passer would quit before they even thought of firing her. she never really taught us anything but isnt it such a hassle to find a sub who actually teaches? im a bit sad that i never got to say bye to her or thank her for the small things she did for us but okay. i knew this would happen, the moment she left, everyone started to miss her. i would never say i miss her, because honestly i dont. im ok that shes gone, if she was still here then i wouldnt care either. im glad she escaped but i will not switch up just because we have a meaner teacher now. now we have some really old grandpa teacher. mr brockway, im gonna call him the temporary sub because he will not be here in a few weeks, im 100% sure about it. now lets talk!
this my yap session
so far, i still hate school. but a little less. i no longer feel lonely like i was in 7th grade without aubree, infact, screw aubree because why do i always depend on people like that. it was horrible. anyways emma and eva are my buds. recently emma has been on my nerves and shes been super self centered and insane but i let it all slide because for one, its her life, she can set herself up for embarrassment in high school, two, i still love her as my best friend, and three, i dont care enough that shes embarrassing herself with some things. its our last year together, i want good memories. i still love eva, im glad we dont have all our classes together because i would probably get sick of her, but now i get the right amount of her. is it bad i see them this way? honestly i see all my friends as temporary friends, they last about a year or two and im done. in high school ill see them as lifelong friends. not all but i hope to meet my lifelong friends who i will forever be tied to, not in the way me and aubree talked about. im talking there is no distance or pity or guiltiness. we’ll always be connected. and shes gonna see me exactly word for word how i see her. and i wont have to doubt who my best friend is. yay! this year, theres been a lot of racism as usual. this year im not tolerating that stuff. i never did really but this year im gonna blow up, actually im too scared for that. this year, my motto is ball it cuz its my last year. ill regret doing nothing than something.
my friends keep saying theyre scared of me getting mad so theyre super nice to me, which shouldnt need a reason for other than that were friends but okay. they say it atleast once a day, and i respond with “haha” with a smile but in my head, this is exactly what ive needed. i wanted to enforce fear into all my friends so i could never be looked down on. BRICK BY BRICK, I BUILT THIS SHH. listen, it sounds wrong in some ways but i used to let people toss me around like nothing. I KNOWWW its wrong to kick people and curse them out only cause they pissed u off but at this point, its my 8th grade year, let me have the status for once. especially for the boys who think im just gonna let them sit here and do whatever. im helping them prepare for high school by humbling them one by one! it takes 2 seconds to get them to shut their mouths. thank you marcos and damiam who never fail to remind others ive grabbed on to their hair until they apologize. wait am i fake friend for this, is that even fake. am i crazy. i dont even care, i wont see any of these people enough to talk to them ever again after this year. im restarting after this, im gonna be a new person. ive been here for too long and its rotting my innocence. call me fake for this, i dont care, my friends will sell me out for an ugly boy any day. every girl and boy here always say “were going to the high school so were still gonna be best friends” i dont believe in that, best believe im avoiding everyone after this year, i hate this school that much. ill never have to do with it ever again. as much as i hate it, i love it. i love the memories ive made with some of the wonderful people here. ill say i hate everyone and my friends but hey, i call them my friends for a reason. i love them a lot but id rather die than spend another year with them. thanks! if u know u know.
ive been really bitter this year because teachers have been racist and weird towards me, plus one of the highlights of my day was suspended. but hes coming back next week so yippee. thats it for today, thanks for reading. run away if u see a bald man coming towards you. having no friends is Ok.