Month: September 2024

update on my 8th grade year because ill regret and forget everything if i dont document these things. before we get specific, ms passer left. my english and literature teacher gave up on me within the first month of school. i personally thing she quit, but at the same time i dont. who knows. ms sledge (the only other english & literature teacher) says she got fired. which seems possible but still, ms passer would quit before they even thought of firing her. she never really taught us anything but isnt it such a hassle to find a sub who actually teaches? im a bit sad that i never got to say bye to her or thank her for the small things she did for us but okay. i knew this would happen, the moment she left, everyone started to miss her. i would never say i miss her, because honestly i dont. im ok that shes gone, if she was still here then i wouldnt care either. im glad she escaped but i will not switch up just because we have a meaner teacher now. now we have some really old grandpa teacher. mr brockway, im gonna call him the temporary sub because he will not be here in a few weeks, im 100% sure about it. now lets talk!

this my yap session
so far, i still hate school. but a little less. i no longer feel lonely like i was in 7th grade without aubree, infact, screw aubree because why do i always depend on people like that. it was horrible. anyways emma and eva are my buds. recently emma has been on my nerves and shes been super self centered and insane but i let it all slide because for one, its her life, she can set herself up for embarrassment in high school, two, i still love her as my best friend, and three, i dont care enough that shes embarrassing herself with some things. its our last year together, i want good memories. i still love eva, im glad we dont have all our classes together because i would probably get sick of her, but now i get the right amount of her. is it bad i see them this way? honestly i see all my friends as temporary friends, they last about a year or two and im done. in high school ill see them as lifelong friends. not all but i hope to meet my lifelong friends who i will forever be tied to, not in the way me and aubree talked about. im talking there is no distance or pity or guiltiness. we’ll always be connected. and shes gonna see me exactly word for word how i see her. and i wont have to doubt who my best friend is. yay! this year, theres been a lot of racism as usual. this year im not tolerating that stuff. i never did really but this year im gonna blow up, actually im too scared for that. this year, my motto is ball it cuz its my last year. ill regret doing nothing than something.
my friends keep saying theyre scared of me getting mad so theyre super nice to me, which shouldnt need a reason for other than that were friends but okay. they say it atleast once a day, and i respond with “haha” with a smile but in my head, this is exactly what ive needed. i wanted to enforce fear into all my friends so i could never be looked down on. BRICK BY BRICK, I BUILT THIS SHH. listen, it sounds wrong in some ways but i used to let people toss me around like nothing. I KNOWWW its wrong to kick people and curse them out only cause they pissed u off but at this point, its my 8th grade year, let me have the status for once. especially for the boys who think im just gonna let them sit here and do whatever. im helping them prepare for high school by humbling them one by one! it takes 2 seconds to get them to shut their mouths. thank you marcos and damiam who never fail to remind others ive grabbed on to their hair until they apologize. wait am i fake friend for this, is that even fake. am i crazy. i dont even care, i wont see any of these people enough to talk to them ever again after this year. im restarting after this, im gonna be a new person. ive been here for too long and its rotting my innocence. call me fake for this, i dont care, my friends will sell me out for an ugly boy any day. every girl and boy here always say “were going to the high school so were still gonna be best friends” i dont believe in that, best believe im avoiding everyone after this year, i hate this school that much. ill never have to do with it ever again. as much as i hate it, i love it. i love the memories ive made with some of the wonderful people here. ill say i hate everyone and my friends but hey, i call them my friends for a reason. i love them a lot but id rather die than spend another year with them. thanks! if u know u know.
ive been really bitter this year because teachers have been racist and weird towards me, plus one of the highlights of my day was suspended. but hes coming back next week so yippee. thats it for today, thanks for reading. run away if u see a bald man coming towards you. having no friends is Ok.

fights didnt exist when i was in 5th grade. actually i think they did, but they were never planned or that serious. nobody would get suspended. nobody would get hurt. once i got into 6th grade, i realized that the middle school building and elementary building are very different. were broker, smaller, and more problematic. 6th grade was just the start of it for me.

so far, within a month of school. there has been 3 fights in my grade. im sure 6th and 7th have also had fights. how do fights work. theres multiple answers. it starts with a self absorbed attention seeking girl. or an egotistical attention seeking boy. ill talk about the girl first, the first fight was with a girl named adeline and my own friend, zahyani. adeline is my biggest enemy. she doesnt know it, but i hate her. seeing her everyday in the hallways disgusted me and i couldnt take walking the same route as her everyday. if u read my 7th grade blogs, u would know. shes known for being loud, obnoxious and very… straight up. i dont know who is feeding into her ego but i hate it. she acts like shes better than everyone. shes cringe and needs to grow up. shes only been here for less than a year but everyone is scared of her. why? her eyeliner is always smearing and her hair is always looking like a mess. they could never make me like her. shes a liar, and tries to act older than her age. zahyani and adaline had been beefing for awhile. zahyani, a VERY sweet and honest girl, fell in this girl’s trap. adaline was fighting her own demons and blamed zahyani whenever she got caught doing something bad. FOR NO REASON. at one point, everyone believed adaline and i could only IMAGINE how bad they were talking about zahyani. so why did they even fight, zahyani shouldve just stopped talking back at adeline. everything was going down hill. on a nice sunny monday, adeline told everyone she was gonna fight zahyani. why. she has no proof zahyani did ANYTHING to her, she was just beefing with herself at this point and making stuff up. people like this piss me off. u look so dumb fighting urself. so, during our recess, zahyani was TERRIFIED from the news she heard. like wdym adeline wants to fight me. she told one of our… what do we even call her… assistant principal basically. and what did that dumb effing teacher do, NOTHING. ms usera went out and talked to adeline and adeline denied everything. zahyani was so mad, ms usera said she couldnt do anything because adeline refused to go with her and denied everything. less than 10 mins after ms usera left. adeline runs up to zahyani with a HUGE crowd following her. and everyone hears zahyani say “wait, cant we talk?” as she slowly starts STEPPING BACK. thats so sad. she didnt even want this. and then boom. adeline grabs her hair and swings her around to the floor. zahyani didnt fight back, she covered her head and took all the hits. it was pretty sad. i didnt even wanna go look. my friend scarlett jumped in and tried getting adeline off her. didnt work but adeline stopped herself. she was 100% embarrassed because it was dead silent. she stopped HERSELF. she realized this is so dumb and u look dumb. god. adeline was suspended the next day, zahyani & scarlett were fine. ms usera apologized 100 times. im sorry guys but im not getting involved unless my best friends get in a fight. eva and emma are the only people worth getting suspended for. scarlett and zahyani didnt get suspended, yay.

the same week, on friday, another fight! with 2 girls again. theres a white girl named rita at my school, shes insane. she never comes to school but on the days she did, it was chaos. shes basically adeline jr. they both cause problems and drama and just cant get enough of it. it literally disgusts me so much. eva and my friend violet used to be friends with her. like really good friends. last year, they decided they couldnt put up with her weird stuff anymore. she was doing really really bad things. i was so happy, rita was a horrible influence on eva. violet and eva made a group chat with rita and cut ties with her. on good terms. violet… has a big mouth. it spouts a lot of bad things. shes also self absorbed and has her own issues. but anyways, they left rita. this new year started and they never interacted. but on some random friday, my best friend roque (hes also actually a friend thats worth getting suspended for, another one of my best friends) told me during recess “yo rita is gonna fight violet, keep this low” WHAT. WHY? THEY ENDED OFF ON GOOD TERMS. IS SHE ABOUT TO FIGHT HER OWN DEMONS TOO? SHES MENTALLY ILL (not joking). i didnt think it was gonna happen, not because i didnt believe roque, but because i thought violet already knew and she would run to the principal if she heard about it. yet she didnt. rita dropped her backpack, tied her hair up and speed walked behind eva and violet’s back while they were walking side by side. they had no idea. so yeah… you know.. rita grabbed violet’s hair and threw her to the floor (u could hear her head hit the floor) punching and pulling and everything. sorry, but i cant get involved. but then eva jumped in. what in the world. eva and violet are best friends so i shouldve expected it, she jumped in punching rita and trying to get her off violet. did it work, unfortunately, rita easily threw eva to the floor. thats when i walked in and held eva up. by then i was literally shaking. cause what the hell. eva wasnt crying, surprisingly, and by the time eva got up, rita was stopped and they all went to the office. i didnt know eva actually hit her, i thought she was safe. but then everyone kept yapping. and yapping. and yapping. there was 2 videos that went around. all of them couldve been proof eva actually hit rita. but it never reached the teachers thankfully. rita was suspended and we havent seen her ever since. people say she was sent to a mental hospital for the 3rd time in a year, or a boarding school. either way, i hope i never see her again. eva didnt get suspended and neither did violet. they didnt do anything so yeah. but, people kept talking and talking. “eva got smacked” “rita won” everyone hates rita, but when it comes to fights, they defend whoever wins. wins? theres a winner? i had to tell so many stupid people, it was so exhausting hearing this and that. eva left early because she was just shocked, that girl was terrified. she didnt even know what she did. i was shocked. everyone kept telling me “isnt eva ur friend, she got smacked” it made me so mad. there were atleast 10 people defending eva but that was it. i was so done with this. yes, im nosy and im always there for the fights, but this time, i was not gonna let anyone bad mouth my actual best friend. i dont know why i just HAVE to protect eva from everything. when eva came back, nothing happened. everything was back to normal, thank god. adeline was back by then, then less than like 2 days after her suspension, she was expelled. reason why doesnt matter, it was a fighting matter, she basically threatened the school. anyways.

last friday. last freaking friday. a boy named nicholas and mario were beefing. this beef is long old, they have always been enemies and hated eachother. then this idiot i know, decided to tell nicholas a LIE that mario said he would beat nicholas in a fight. bruh what. i never thought nicholas was so immature to the point he’d get in a fight, but he did. it was random. i didnt even bother to stand up to see what was happening. but then, from far away, there was a gap between the crowd and i saw dayton punching the living daylights out of someone. WHAT THE FREAAAAK. i literally got up to fast and ran over there. the teachers held dayton back. what the freak dayton!!! u had such an clean record this year!! dayton is a very good kid, very respectful and smart, but that only started in 7th and 8th. before that, he was always getting in trouble and talking back. technically he still does, but to a certain point. hes such a nice person and ive seen it. seeing him punch someone so violently was so weird. that was gonna get him kicked off the baseball team and suspended. nicholas shouldve been suspended for all that (i think he was actually) and i was so concerned. on the bright side, dayton is still loved and everyone chose his side. so how did dayton even get involved?!!? basically, he just jumped in. i guess everyone is doing that these days. nicholas was pressing mario (i dont think he even threw a punch) and then dayton stepped in and started beating him up? nicholas didnt even fight back. WHY DID HE DO THAT. DAYTON AND MARIO ARENT EVEN THAT CLOSE. WHYY. so my PE class is gonna be lonely for a few days. dayton is a nice kid dude. he shouldve ATLEAST gone easy on the kid, hes like almost 6 feet tall LOL. anyways.

im not the type of person to say like “oh fights are so fun.” but i will have front seats. call me weird, i wanna be there. its usually some kids i dont care about. and whenever the past fights involved a good friend of mine, my friend always won. i was never worried who was gonna get hurt. but actually guys, they are a little scary to me now. obviously nobody would fight me, otherwise… yikes. i would win. bye, stay safe!