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I suggested Homebound as our band name, but of course my friend who looks like Jeffery Dahmer didn’t like it because he doesn’t really ever like any of my suggestions. And Homebound is already the name of a movie and some super obscure band anyhow. We spitball some other names but didn’t really get anything worthwhile.

I asked my goober Asian friend what he thought, but he wouldn’t take it seriously and kept saying dumb crap like “whale fart Hitler poop” as his suggestion. I asked him to take it seriously, but he wouldn’t, because everyone in high school constantly feels the need to be the funniest person in the room, and sincerity is nonexistent. He’s like talking to a Marvel character.

What we have figured out is that we’re going to cover Basket Case by Green Day first. I’ll be rhythm, Dahmer’ll play lead, and the goober will be a keyboard bassist since we don’t actually have a bass.

There’s a multitude of problems, one obviously being that we don’t have a drummer.

The second is that Dahmer doesn’t have an electric guitar, only a classical. He keeps texting me, sending me pictures of guitars and saying, “I really like the skronk on this guitar, the tremolo is very nice and has a good 9.5 inch radius neck.” And then the next day he’ll say, “Well actually, I saw someone say that that bazoinka reflex on the guitar isn’t wound tight enough, so I’ll get a different one.” And then he just never makes up his mind. He’s so obsessively caught up with the tiny, pointless details.

Dahmer was supposed to be our vocalist, actually. He hyped up his voice for a week, and he even made us miss the release of the FNAF movie just to hear it. And when the time finally came, he started pathetically making excuses about how he doesn’t want us to suffer from his Yoko Ono voice. So then he made me be the lead vocalist, which I thought was dumb because I can’t really sing, and I know he’ll get on my case about my voice all the time because he’s so particular about everything. I listened to a recording of Dahmer singing because he refused to give us a live performance, and while it wasn’t Yoko Ono tier, it wasn’t too great. And the goober is even worse at singing, so that’s a third problem. We don’t really have a good singer.

Fourth, the goober is not good at music whatsoever. He was never in band or in orchestra. And even though he is Asian, he could not play piano. His music taste is pure pop, any other form of music like hip-hop or even rock is just too out there for him. Most concerning is that he can’t tell what instruments are making up a song, even when I’m pointing them out to him. I tried to see if he could recognize the upstrums of the rhythm guitar in Say It Ain’t So, and he could not, even after five minutes of pointing it out. He didn’t know what a bass, rhythm guitar, or lead guitar did or sounded like. I’m not sure how he can be a keyboard bassist if he plays piano poorly and can’t even hear the bassline in a song.

Anyhow.

I’m surprised Dahmer let me pick a Green Day song as our first choice, because he doesn’t really like Green Day and is into more obscure, experimental stuff. A lot of the stuff he wanted to cover seemed a little ambitious for a couple of wannabe musicians. It’s a good thing Green Day songs are stupid simple. The thing is, there’s no lead guitar part in Basket Case, so we’re currently trying to write our own addition to the song so Dahmer has something to do and isn’t just standing there. If only he would just sing, then he could be the vocalist while I play guitar and the goober plays “bass.”

But I suppose none of this matters because at the end of the day we don’t have a drummer.

I was thinking recently that I really needed some new friends. That’s not to say that my current friend group is bad, but I’d like to expand my horizons.  My current circle of friends is currently composed of a pothead, this goober Asian kid who has the worst opinions on the planet, and this guy who looks like Jeffery Dahmer. Then I have a few half-friends that I don’t really see outside of school.

Anyhow, the three I have now are decent enough, but none of them I would consider ideal, and it’s why I don’t really have a best friend, not that I’m into the habit of ranking friends. The pothead is alright enough, and I can comfortably talk to him. On an intellectual level, I can sometimes speak my mind to him, although I feel he only really gets half of it. Also, he has a lot more friends than I do, so we’re not particularly close. He’s more outgoing and crass than I am, so we don’t fit very well together.

The dumb Asian kid really annoys me because he never has anything to say yet speaks a hell of a lot anyway. He’s socially awkward, deeply insecure, afraid of girls, and his form of comedy is playing a meme on his phone loudly, like a middle schooler. It is a sad thing to see. I watch him squirm whenever he has a girl as his lab partner, and I want to knock him upside the head and tell him to stop being so awkward.

Sometimes, when I can get him to stop acting like a band kid, I talk to him on an intellectual level, but I don’t think he ever really understands what I’m saying. I’ll go on a three-minute rant about marijuana legalization and abortion rights and why I didn’t like a certain teacher and his feeble mind could only conjure up a four-word sentence that does not add to the conversation.

Dahmer, I think, is the only one that ever understands what I’m saying, so I do like him better than the other two. However, he has autism, though not to the point where he’s dysfunctional. You probably wouldn’t be able to tell after a conversation with him, and it’s only after months of being around the guy did I suspect he was on the spectrum. He’s normal most of the time, but sometimes he has his autistic freakouts which are pretty difficult to deal with. He’ll get upset over something dumb like us talking too loud and then do that hand-shaking thing, like they’re wet and he’s trying to dry them. When he has these freakouts, I get pretty annoyed and the only reason I don’t tell him to piss off is because that might make his freakout worse.

But when he’s normal, he actually gets what I’m saying, even if we have a lot of disagreements. We tried to make a movie last year, but whenever I suggested something he’d go like, “Um… no.” And then he’d suggest something I didn’t like and I’d say it was stupid and we argue about our creative visions and nothing would be done.

For example, he said he wanted the movie to start with an alarm going off and a person waking up. I told him that was cliched and overdone to death but he wouldn’t listen. Then I suggested my idea, which would start the movie in the middle of a conversation the protagonist was having, and he shoots it down. For whatever reason he was really insistent on the alarm clock thing. We never agreed on anything because we both believe in our artistic superiority. I think he’s a crap storyteller while he probably thinks he’s going to make a movie akin to the Godfather, which is totally asinine considering we’re just three teenagers with a camera.

There were actually three of us there making the movie, me, Dahmer, and the Asian kid, so you’d think the Asian kid would just vote on one and we’d have majority rule. But an emptyheaded kid like that has no opinions, especially on cinematography and storytelling, so he just sat there the whole time during our arguments. And when we’d ask for his suggestions he would have none.

So what I’ve been trying to do is find a likeminded intellectual such as yours truly. The issue is that I’ve been finding most of the kids in my school to be pretty emptyheaded, at least on the surface level. I expected this from the regular kids, but it’s the AP kids as well. That’s not to say that my classmates are dimwitted morons, just that a lot of them don’t ever think of things bigger than themselves, and the ones who do have something going on upstairs aren’t really going to advertise them as such. And it’s not feasible to make friends with every classmate and figure out which ones have ever had a thought outside of schoolwork.

A lot of people in high school are just too afraid to ever be real. Everything they say has to have some layer of sarcasm and irony, everything has to be a joke, and they can’t ever be genuine. That’s fine enough, but whenever I want to talk about something that means something to me, whether it be things I like, dislike, and what I think about everything, it irks me when they just try to brush it off by retreating into their fortress of sarcasm. You can’t even talk about how you like a certain book without people turning it into a joke. I’d like to hear about things that mean something to other people, but everyone is too insecure to ever be truthful about their passions and hobbies and deep hatreds.

This whole post has been a little nonsensical. And it’s stupid to expect anyone to open up to you. It’s a process that takes months or years even. I’m not going to try to explain what I mean because you either understand it or you don’t.

I was pissed today because my math teacher makes us do these homework quizzes. Basically, she picks out two random questions that you’ve done for homework over the past week and makes you copy down your answers for quiz points, the rationale behind this likely being so that she doesn’t have to check everyone’s homework every day. Each question is worth seven points for a total of fourteen.

She handed me back my homework quiz and I got a zero on it, which I found very surprising. The first question I got a zero on because I didn’t include a table for the graph I sketched, and the second one I got a zero because I had copied the homework question down incorrectly, so I ended up solving a different problem. This all really pisses me off because I got the first question right and did not need to use a table to fill out the graph, but you know how insane math teachers are because you don’t do it their way. The second question was more understandable, but it really was an honest mistake and I don’t see why I should get a zero just because I accidentally copied down the wrong question. I especially don’t see why I should get a zero for the whole thing, the same grade someone would get if they didn’t even bother doing their homework at all.

I complained to this about my friend, who also did not include a table for the first problem but still got two points for it. That’s not much but it is better than a zero, and I have to wonder why I was not afforded the same amount of credit.

If it was purely a “you either get it right or you don’t” sort of thing, I would understand. But you should make each question worth one point then, if it’s going to be an all or nothing system. If you’re going to make a single question worth seven whole points, then you should be afforded points based on how much was correct, not if the whole thing was correct. And you shouldn’t lose all seven points for not including a damn table.

I don’t know why she makes the homework worth so much anyway. It’s not a test; it’s practice material intended to help you prepare for a test. You shouldn’t be punished so harshly during the learning phase when you’re preparing for an exam. This single zero dropped my A to a B, which is absolutely ludicrous.

Speaking of the math test, I feel I did pretty poorly on it too, so I can only imagine how much further my letter grade will plummet. I wasn’t able to answer the first question because I felt pressured for time due to the two-part nature of the test. The rest of the questions I know I got right, but the math teacher is such a nitpicking bum that I know she’ll find some reason to dock points for the things I got correct. She is the type of teacher that will take half points off a correctly answered question just because you forgot to put parentheses around coordinates, or because you wrote “The horizontal asymptote is 3,” instead of “The horizontal asymptote is y=3.” It’s absolutely absurd how she grades things. I also don’t like the way she solves problems because I think she overcomplicates them, so I solve them my own way. But she probably won’t like that very much at all. So I’m pretty anxious over the results of the test, which I can’t imagine to be good. Imagine that: I’m still worried over my test score even though I know I got most of them right, purely because of the teacher’s nitpicking.

Anyhow, it turns out OSU does not offer a Creative Writing major, which is disappointing, but I’ve been thinking about money recently, and it seems like a lot of writers can only do freelance work and not hold down a steady job. Art does not pay the bills, and I already know I’ll be poor as hell in college, probably eating ramen on special occasions and starving otherwise.

So I checked out what other programs OSU has that are related to writing, and the only ones I saw were journalism and English. I don’t really want to major in English because the only job I could get then is being an English teacher, and I would rather not instruct a group of snot-nosed high schoolers. Journalism sounds nice. I don’t think they make much money, but it would be cool to travel the world, report on foreign wars, and get killed by the CIA. But in actuality I’d probably end up being stuck at some local news station reporting on the mundane happenings around town.

What I’m thinking then, is taking psychology as my major, because I know the psychology industry is lucrative, and also because I’m taking AP Psych so I can save some money that way. The thing is though, I’m not sure how many opportunities would open up with just a bachelor’s in psych, so then I’d have to fork over more money to go to graduate school and rack up more loans. I guess making money is not cheap.

I think I’d prefer to not think about college stuff right now. But then I feel as if I should be doing something, because I know those college acceptance boards will be sniffing around my high school record and how I loafed around and did not make myself stand out. These people want you to be doing volunteer work and be in seven clubs while you’re only a teenager. I think the standards are too high, and I have to be competing against these rich punks whose parents have been setting them up on a path to Harvard since preschool. I’d like to go to an Ivy League school, but it will never happen, not because of the admission, but because I could never afford it. And yeah, I probably wouldn’t get accepted anyway. I’m just a guy from a public school in nowhere Ohio. I didn’t go to a snotty college-prep school. It makes me jealous of those kids whose parents can just pay off the tuition without batting an eye. I want to go to OSU mainly because it’s in Ohio, so it’ll be cheaper. Actually, that’s the only reason: it’s the best college in Ohio. So yeah. I don’t really want to think about college right now.

What I don’t like is European people in the Youtube comment sections spouting some smug smugworth copy and paste comment about how horrible the United States is and how it’s a goddamn utopia over in Finland or something. You know, you could be on a news article about a Fourth of July firework show, someone in the comments would say something like “God bless America!” and then James Hackett from England will go on a page-long rant about school shootings and healthcare.

There is a strong animosity towards the United States, not just from Europeans, but from young Americans and the rest of the world also. I suppose you could say it is a sort of counterculture, stick it the man sort of thing since the US has been the strongest world for a few decades now. But as you know I am a free-thinking contrarian, and so I would like to start my own counter-counterculture revolution. I think that this all started as a genuine criticism of America, and then spiraled into a bandwagon where the correct and rebellious way to think about things is to dogpile on America and start drooling over some Nordic country like Denmark. As if Denmark is some kind of heaven on Earth.

In class today some “free” thinker said that our grading system sucks and that we should adopt the UK grading system, where a 70%-100% earns you an A and 39% and below means you fail. Now, why is this system better? I don’t know, they never said. All they said was that it is better, and then acted as if the explanation was self-explanatory.

Here is unstated reason why they probably thought it was better: because the American school education is the worst thing ever, and Europe is literally paradise and does literally everything better.

That is something a lot of people like to say. “The American school system sucks.” Ask them why it sucks, and there is either no answer, or they talk about Finland. It’s always some Nordic country. And it’s always the people who don’t try in school who say this too. I don’t know what you expect to get out of a system you don’t put anything in to. When kids say that the American school system is bad, they just mean that they want to have an easier curriculum, or three days off a week, or only six hours at school.

To make it clear, I am not a US shill. I think the country has its problems. I think the country is too car-centric and you can’t walk to places like you can in Europe, for example.

But the way people make it out to be some sort of dysfunctional hellscape is absolutely ridiculous. I once saw some smug European say that America is a third-world country wearing a Gucci belt, and the amount of people I found agreeing is actually unsettling. It is one thing to say that the US is the worst out of the first-world nations, it is an entirely other thing to attempt to suggest that the US is comparable to a third-world nation. The amount of ignorance and blind rage you’d have to have in order to form this stupid of an opinion is actually impressive. It’s shocking how one can have so much hatred for a country across the ocean that does not play any role in their day-to-day lives.

Anyhow, enough about smug European people.

Sleepy Joe just handed out $9 billion to ease student loans. I saw this on the community post of this liberal news source on Youtube. I consider myself more right-leaning but I still use this news source because right-wing news is so cringe and I feel embarrassed to be using. Left-wing news is also cringe and makes me embarrassed, but I know nobody is going to get on my case if I use it unlike a right-wing news source.

I think it’s a nice gesture, what good ol’ Joe is doing for the country, but it does not remove the underlying cause of student loan debt, and millions more students will be racking up debt over the coming years, so this just feels like using a toothpick to break down a stone wall.

But you know, if Biden wants to pay off my loans in a few years, I’m not going to say no.

A lot of boomers are complaining that their tax dollars should not be used to pay for someone else’s degree. I think that’s fair, but there’s something nice about a society that supports one another. And it’s not as if Brandon is blowing the money on crack or something.

Basically, I don’t really care. Because I don’t pay taxes.

In AP Gov the teacher asked us what we think are issues in America. And this conservative girl went on an unhinged rant about Lia Thomas and how transgender people are ruining women’s sports. And there were some people looking at her like she just murdered someone. I personally did agree that biological men should not compete in women’s sports, but I do think the girl could have tried a little harder not to sound so unhinged about it. Even though I agreed I sort of winced and felt second-hand embarrassment as she started speaking.

Then I thought about it some more and I guess I shouldn’t feel so embarrassed about it. I don’t think certain topics should become taboo or that you should not be allowed to question things. Gender identity is a very large topic today and I had to do a whole unit on it in French class. And I admire the girl for speaking so brazenly about the subject.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that I hate liberals.

Billie Joe Armstrong from Green Day wears his guitar strap super low based off what I’ve seen from his music videos. In the Basket Case music video he wears it so low that it’s just dangling below his waist and he sort of has to slouch over just to strum properly. It sounds sort of silly but actually looks insanely cool.

So I’ve been fiddling around with my guitar strap to try to get it as low as possible.  When I was first figuring it out the guys online said I should set the guitar strap tight enough so that the guitar rests at the same height as it would when I’m sitting down and playing. And this made sense because I’d be already used to playing at that height. I had to set up the strap so that it was pretty much fully tightened and I had to wiggle my way into it.

Unfortunately, what I was not told is that setting up the strap this way makes you look like a total nerd. It looks really goofy, like a person wearing his pants way too high. I’d never noticed before, but all the guitarists wear their guitar straps pretty low. After observing myself in a mirror and wondering why I looked so uncool despite having a guitar strapped around me, I concluded that I should lower the strap and get the Billie Joe Armstrong strap level, because it looks really cool.

The problem with this is that it’s really hard to play. With my strap at its loosest my right hand can’t even reach the strings, which sucks because I look really cool when the guitar is that low. Adjusting it to the point where my right hand can sort of reach the strings if I hunch over, it still looks really cool and I can somewhat play. However, it hurts my left hand to play like that. If you want to know how it feels, stand with your arm limp and face your palms forward. Then mess around with your fingers and move your arm like you’re going up a fretboard and you’ll start feeling some carpal tunnel pain. I’m thinking either Billie Joe has practiced playing in this ungodly position just so he can look cool. Either that or he has freakishly long arms.

What I’m currently trying to do is find the right balance between looking cool and playing comfortably.

Homecoming was pretty bad. I showed up all by myself and strutted in with zero swagger. A lot of faces I didn’t recognize, the music was too loud, I stood around awkwardly with nothing to do. I didn’t want to look at my phone too much because that would be uncool, so I walked from the gym to the hallway, waited, walked back, so on and so forth. I felt dumb and probably looked dumb too. And there was a rage brewing inside me and my anger towards that snake was renewed.

After about ten minutes of shame, I found some of my classmates. I was not particularly close with them, but I still pathetically asked if I could tag around them for the rest of the night, and they allowed me to. So it was them walking around and me awkwardly following them, not really a part of the group. I made some small talk and joked around with them throughout the night, but I always felt like an outsider, except for one kid who knew me from last year and thus was a lot friendlier.

For most of the night we all walked from place to place, occasionally
“dancing,” or we just stood around and shouted at each other just to be heard. It was very thrilling. At one point we waited in line to get our photo taken, which took a very long time. And a lot of girls had their shoes off for some reason. My legs hurt from standing so much. And my ears were numb. Some party it was, just a mosh pit in the center of the gym, and groups of people standing around it talking to each other, and further away from the center of the circle were the people who were alone or too cool to do anything. I prowled the premises for vulnerable young women, which I did find, but they looked depressed and I did not want to be creepy. The girls who were not depressed were in groups and were good dancers and I knew then that it was a lost cause.

I was moping in the gymnasium, hovering the small group of people I knew when a girl came up to me. Then she asked if I had Snapchat. I said I didn’t, then she said that her friend would like to know my number. I said okay. Then she went back to her friend and showed me her number and I realized I did not know how to add a number without texting someone and the girl watched as I traversed my phone’s menus like an old man and she was probably going to report my ineptitude to her friend. And so the only thing I could think to do was just text the number, but I did not know what to write.

I texted, “Hi.” And I am ashamed and I am embarrassed.

But I didn’t feel ashamed immediately because after the girl left a sense of euphoria filled my soul and the guys around me started hyping me up and I sent a smug text message to that snake.

Then reality dawned on me and I realized how stupid I sounded. I mean, “Hi.” Really? And the girl probably reported to her friend how awkward I was being.

And the girl didn’t even approach me the whole night, so I got to the point where I assumed I had been pranked. She never responded to the hi either. This sucks. I hope she never responds because I don’t want to deal with it. How shameful my behavior today was, but I can only use this moment to grow and learn. I walked around for another hour or so and a pit began to grow in my stomach and I felt terrible and so exhausted. As I waited for my grandmother to pick me up, I listened to a No Buses album and that made me feel like the main character for a bit, and that this depressing scene was being displayed to a sympathetic audience. Two people were sitting under a streetlight as my grandmother drove me home. It was ten and few cars were out. I want to forget tonight, I hope that girl will forget my awkwardness, I hope her friend never texts me, I hope her friend forgets me too. It is better to not worry and only deal with it when the problem punches me in the face. I have school on Monday, and everything sucks.

I’m going to homecoming by myself. What I’m hoping will happen is that there will be some poor girl there also by her lonesome, and that is when I will strike. Or I am hoping that there will be a group of sympathetic senior girls that will take me in out of pity. Or maybe I will just hang out with the teachers.

I think I would feel comfortable dancing if there were a lot of people. If it’s just a handful, I’d feel pretty embarrassed. The strategy I’m employing is to try to ignore everyone and dance so confidently that the girls will notice. I also prepared a dance playlist on my phone in case the music sucks, which it probably will. I guess that would look pretty dumb, because I’d be dancing to a different beat than the song actually playing. But who cares.

I’m mainly going because I already bought a ticket, and also to stick it to my snake rat bastard “friend.” And I will make fun of him for being a basement-dwelling Osu playing weeaboo that never goes outside for any social events due to his poor self-esteem. And maybe I will even get a picture of myself with a girl and send him it and call him a turbovirgin. At first I thought I would make him feel bad for making me go alone, but I realized he’s not emotionally mature enough to feel that he was even in the wrong at all. In fact, I was telling my friends in the group chat that I would have to go alone after what he did, and he texted “glhf.” He must think he is very funny, and he must really think he did nothing wrong at all. The next time I see him, I will sock him the face, and he’ll be prying teeth out the back of his throat.

Even if I do not have any fun, I will take a lot of pictures of myself smiling and dancing and make him feel jealous. That is my intention with going today.

Anyhow. I went bowling with my friend and the rat bastard yesterday. I mainly went so I could continue cussing out that little turd, but my friend was there and I didn’t want to sour the mood. So I just told him off a bit, without the swearing or yelling. And this little worm kept on making excuses. He finally did apologize, but his apology started with, “Like, I’m sorry, but…” And that’s when I knew he had no intention of making a sincere apology, and that he was so stupid that he was doing the craziest mental gymnastics ever to justify himself.

It came to a point where even my friend, who was always impartial to the many spats I had with the incel Osu nerd, called him out for his lack of accountability, to which he continued saying dumb crap he probably didn’t even believe himself, and playing dumb whenever his previous statements were brought up.

So I spent the rest of the day sulking, and I kept conversation with the rat bastard to a minimum. Mostly, I just talked to my friend, who is far more agreeable and reasonable.

Here is another cringe thing that happened. As we were walking around town, my friend started talking about his girlfriend back in middle school who had cheated on him. And he mentioned that prior to them getting together, she had already done the deed with a sixteen-year-old back when she was twelve. I was initially very shocked and disgusted. Then I understood that usually when something like that happens, it’s a sign of childhood trauma. Maybe a creepy family member, or maybe some older teenagers did sometime messed up to her. So you really have to feel bad for the girl.

But what does the little snake take away from this sad story? He says “wow,” and calls the girl a “used rag.”

Maybe he was just making a terrible joke.  If that is the case, it annoys me, but whatever.

But here is what is more likely. This kid is a braindead incel. He is ignorant and does not understand that twelve year olds are not doing these things because they have no morals or standards, but because they are being exploited by people older than them.

Honestly, that makes me really mad. I didn’t say anything much then, it was just my friend muttering “What the hell?” and me going “Hey, you can’t talk about women like that.” It didn’t really sink in how messed up his statement was until I got home and started reflecting over the day’s events. I guess when someone says something so awful, you can’t really believe they would say that, and so it doesn’t really register.

I’m planning to get on his case about this on Monday. I would text him but I know this pussy would be too afraid to reply, or say something like, “I was just joking.”

Anyhow. I hope homecoming will be fun.

I am pissed. I am so pissed off right now. I will not write any swear words because this is a family friendly website but I wish I could. About an hour ago I was cussing out my friend in the school hallway very loudly. Here is why.

Two of my friends had said that they might go to homecoming. It turns out today that they can’t. But that’s okay, I still have another friend who is going.

Just kidding, he is a liar. I asked him on Wednesday if he filled out the Homecoming form which you need to buy a ticket, to which he said he did. Then comes Friday and he says that he did not buy a ticket, which annoys me a little bit that he is waiting for last minute. I tell him to buy one at lunch. In eighth period he comes and says they are not selling tickets anymore. I am a little stunned by this and I spend the period staring stupefied at nothing and figuring to myself. And so I tell him to seek out the history teacher to ask for a ticket after school, because she is the one in charge of all this stuff.

So after the pep rally, I follow him to the history classroom. There is a small line of girls who were also waiting last minute for a ticket. And there is a limited amount of tickets left, but it is fine because we got there before most people, so all my friend has to do is turn in his Homecoming form and claim his ticket.

But no. Because this rat bastard lied to me. He didn’t fill out the form. He never even picked one up. So he has to leave the line and fill out the form and then the tickets are sold out and I am pissed. Because now I am going to go by myself, and the one person who had assured me that he was going lied to my goddamn face, and had the audacity to try to gaslight me into thinking he had never promised any such thing.

This is the last straw. I guess maybe this insult sounds minor to you, but I’m so mad. You don’t know this kid like I do, and he’s always been doing things that minorly tick me off. He chucks a ball at my genitals and refuses to say sorry, even though it’s a known fact amongst men that any injury to that area is dishonorable and very frowned down upon. I text him a question and he doesn’t answer until the next day, and says the next day that he “fell asleep” and tries to brush it off when I call him out on his behavior. And you know what? This stuff might make it seem like he’s a punk rebel kid who doesn’t play by anyone’s rules. But no, he’s a little insecure Genshin Impact weeaboo that is afraid of social confrontation and taking accountability for being a poor friend.

Again, it probably seems like nothing to you. I’d go elaborate but I have to be somewhere in a few minutes, namely the bowling alley, so I can continue cussing out my friend there. I was swearing pretty loudly in the halls and I hope none of my teachers heard. What pisses me off is that he didn’t even say, “Sorry I lied.” No, he just tries to brush me off and downplay everything, because he is not the one who has to show up to homecoming by himself. Like I said before, it’s not just this, it’s a series of things that get me pissed off.

So I’m going by myself. I feel like Napoleon, after his country turned back on him, after all of Europe has exiled him. He’s literally me.