What is up guys I’m back with another blog to update you on the literal nothingness that’s been going on in my life.
I do not care about anything at this point. I don’t even stress about grades anymore because turns out, if you actually pay attention instead of drawing all over the desks, things tend to make more sense than usual. Also, why do I have an 89% in dance class. That is such bull. I’m literally Maddie Ziegler what else does he want from me. I’m pretty sure it went down because of the written test we had about the body and stuff. But he didn’t give us any material to study with because it was all “common sense”. It wasn’t.
Even though I got my phone taken away and I’ve been getting a lot of sleep in, I take about four naps a day in school and then another when I get home. I can barely keep track of the time anymore. I feel like I’m just always tired. I’ll be moving around during school and my brain will constantly but working but the second I sit down for a few seconds, it all just rushes in and I feel very exhausted. That is, until I am forced to turn my brain back on and act like this isn’t killing me more and more everyday.
Once again, ThucQuyen has manipulated her way into getting the laptop back for “homework” or whatever it is she thinks is a valid reason. And I guess it really is, because it’s working. Also, I think she’s a bully. But not in a “give me your lunch money” kind of way but more in a “everyone is afraid of me because i don’t hesitate to yank the living daylights out of them” way. I’m not gonna say her reasonings for doing so are wrong, because her classmates are downright awful to her. In fact, I secretly encourage it because at this point nobody really cares about what you say. I’m just surprised that even after ThucQuyen’s violent nature, she’s still pretty popular and people like her. Maybe that’s because of me and how the 7th graders that I knew in 8th grade now know her too.
On another note, I have a friend from Pennsylvania who moved to Arizona in September and here’s what Lyn’s told me. She is appalled by the normalization of racism in the southwest part of this country. Lyn told me that at her old school some guy called her ching chong or something and this girl behind her socked him in the face. And the girl didn’t even know her. But here, it’s totally different. Everyone, and I mean everyone, says the N word. Racism against black people is only slightly offensive because “I am literally 6% African”. And racism against Asians is entirely a joke. Nobody cares if anyone was called a ching chong. Some junior in my geometry class the other day did the squinty eye thing at me and the class thought it was hilarious. What is a junior even doing in a geometry class in the first place. I am a relatively academically smart person, but that’s only because I actually care about my future and I have a sense of respect for myself and my family. But in everyone else’s eyes it’s “oh just ask her for the answers, she’s smart, and she’s also asian by the way because that fact alone determines whether or not she has straight A’s, oh and she won’t charge you because she’s scared to ask for money in the first place”. And yeah, I do have straight A’s (if we round up that 89% to a 90%, I promise I’m getting that back up to an A) but everyone else could easily also have as many A’s as I do if they actually cared about getting into college and actually doing something with your life instead of worrying about who slept with who and if they liked them three years ago.
I told mom I wanna be an engineer. Which is half true. I wanna be an engineer because I think it’s the only career path that I would actually excel at and not entirely hate. “Entirely”. Engineering is probably so boring. And there might be people out there who actually like doing math and stuff, but not me. Except I’m good at math, and if I were to just become a nail tech or something then it would seem like a big waste right? Whether or not I like it, I am good at it. Which means I would be a great engineer, who may or may not hate her job. But at the same time, I am indecisive and that thought might switch up in the next two months and I’m gonna wanna run away from home and join the circus.
I’ve heard that when you get older, like past 17, your older siblings treat you more like a friend than a younger sibling. I dunno about everyone else but that sounds very exciting. ThucDan never tells me anything and I always hear about what she’s doing from someone else, so maybe when I get older she’ll see me as more mature and she’ll wanna talk to me.
Mom was telling me that Kally and Vinh are too old for me and I should hang out with more people my age. She acts like I don’t go to a school with 200 other freshmen. Also, I don’t hang out with Kally and Vinh because they’re older than me, I hang out with them because I am just kinda stuck with them. It is far too late for me to go and get close with Ngoc or something. Because after that fateful day in Vinh’s pool where I met Kally, we never stopped. If anything, mom should’ve pulled me away from them earlier on so that I wouldn’t be as close with them as I am now. But like I said, it’s far too late for that. And it’s not like Kally and Vinh don’t want me to hang out with them. We’re far past the unusualness of hanging out with someone 3 years older or younger than you. Sorry mom.
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