When I looked at my computer, I got a bunch of emails. They said COOKIES WITH MILK OH YEAH! It was good stuff. The sender was The Cookie Lord. Impossible. I’m the cookie lord. So I went to his house. Then we fought and junk. Soon everything was fine. But then I got hungry. There was cake, ice cream, turkey, and cupcakes at The Not Cookie Lord Anymore’s house. But no cookies and milk. I was being starved. So I ate The Not Cookie Lord Anymore. He was a cookie.
Bear Hunter Bob
Today I, Mr. Bob, will be hunting bears. I am trying to find one that is yellow, wears a red shirt, and is obsessed with honey. The bear lives in a place we call 1 Acre Forest, while animals call it the One Acre Woods. My gun is loaded with grass. Do not ask me why. The government did not want to pay for this mission. I am now approaching a tiger with stripes. It appears to be bouncing around with it’s tail.
“Good morning weird tiger.”
“My name is George.”
“Have you seen a yellow bear that is obsessed with honey?”
“My name is George, and I can bounce.”
“But where is the yellow bear?”
“That bear is obsessed with honey. The bear’s name is Rob.”
“Ok, but where is he?”
“In the One Acre Woods.”
“But where in the One Acre Woods?”
“My name is George.”
This tiger appears to be useless, so I must move on. I now find a boy. Let me ask him where the bear is.
“Hello.”
“Hello.”
“Have you seen a yellow bear?”
“My name is Harry.”
“Ok, but have you seen a yellow bear?”
“Yes.”
“Where?”
“Somewhere.”
“Are any of you smart here?”
“I’m smart.”
“What’s 1+1?”
“7,192,732.”
“You are wrong.”
“Nu-uh.”
So it’s confirmed, everyone here is stupid. I am now approaching a rabbit.
“Good day sir.”
“My name is Jerry.”
“Have you seen a yellow bear?”
“My name rhymes with Harry.”
“Have you seen a yellow bear?”
“Yes.”
“Where?”
“The yellow bear is ugly.”
“I don’t care, where is the yellow bear?”
“On your face.”
“Are you saying I’m ugly?”
“My name is Jerry.”
This rabbit was not to bright either, so I will continue the hunt elsewhere. I will now ask this owl where the yellow bear is.
“Have you seen a yellow bear?”
“Yes.”
“Where?”
“Over by that tree.”
“Ok thanks.”
“He is gone now.”
“So where is he?”
“I don’t know.”
“Do you now anyone else that lives here?”
“My name is Terry.”
This owl was slightly smarter than rest, but not by much. Then I see a yellow bear. I will ask the yellow bear where the yellow bear is.
“Do you know where the yellow bear is?”
“I think I do. Follow me.”
The yellow bear takes me to his house. Hopefully this is where the yellow bear is.
“So where is the yellow bear?”
“I saw him in my mirror.”
We both looked at the mirror. I see the yellow bear.
“But how will I get the yellow bear?”
“I do not know.”
“I will come back later when I figure it out.”
So I sat at a tree.Thinking and thinking. Then I realized something. Something only a genius could figure out. The yellow bear was the yellow bear! I ran back to the house and shot the bear with my grass gun.
“You are the yellow bear!”
“I am?”
“Yes.”
“Oh.”
“I’m smart, right?”
“Not really.”
“Why not? I figured it out!”
“What is 1+1?”
“7,192,732.”
“You’re dumb.”
RED-X File 162836
We will now read you the secret message for your ears only. Apples and cows are not failing in their plan to take over the world. We must stop them. Take them out with this deluxe pillow shooter. It will take them out for sure. Or you can just punch them. i guess that works….. dont have to use this darn gun…………. and one last message. COOKIES WITH MILK OH YEAH!
Important Message
Important Message
Shorts are now even shorter.
~SPECIAL INTERVIEW WITH NAM NGUYEN~ Famous People Watchers Show
hello my name is jill and i will be the host tonight. today we found nam nguyen in the wild and we will now interview him. “Mr. Nguyen do you have any comments about your life?”
“I ate a hotdog yesterday.”
“ok what do you want to do with you life?”
“i want to eat a hotdog.”
“have you ever killed man?”
“yes, with a spork.”
“why are you here?”
“to get my spork back.”
” is the man you attacked okay?”
“he is eating a cookie.”
“what fruit do you hate most?”
“apples, they want to rule the world.”
“where is your spork?”
“in a cookie.”
“did you use any other weapons to attack the man?”
” a spoon.”
“anything else?”
” I want a hotdog.”
“ok, can i have an autograph?”
“no.”
“may i see your spork?”
“no.”
“may i see your spoon?”
“ok.”
“you don’t have a spoon.”
“it is in the cookie. the cookie the man is eating.”
“is he choking?”
“no.”
“why isn’t he?”
“i gave him super powers.”
“i hear coughing and yelling from his area.”
“trust me, he isn’t choking.”
i am jill, ending this interview, because mr. nam nguyen is crazy.
Today’s Highlight
First at school, I ate a hotdog. But what really happened first was the “Gabe Accident”. Also, when people semi-cry, give them some space and it’s not really funny. So Gabe, thought that it would be funny to stand inside his locker. It wasn’t. Then Mario ( yes that is his name) comes in and shuts the locker. While he was doing that, I ate a hotdog. But what really happened while he was shutting the locker, was Ian, Captain Pizza from my earlier posts, opening the locker. Long story short the handle broke off. Gabe was stuck. While he was in there, I ate a hotdog. What I really did was give him a hotdog. Then I called for help. by that, I meant eating a hotdog. But when I called for help, I meant to go and stare at Gabe. By now Gabe was kicking and yelling and eating a hotdog. Eventually, he kicked open the locker, and ate his hotdog in peace. Everyone was happy. I was the happiest, because I was eating a hotdog.
hehehhee this is khang nam is gone at the moment do you guys like ramen
Blog
Welcome, random wanderer who is reading this blog! Here, we can fill stomach with turkey, chicken, candy, ice cream, cake, lemon cake, chocolate cake, fruit cake, iced cake, cold cake, and bread. We also have a pool, slides, TVs, and our most famous attraction, the rock. If you ever have a headache, we have medicine for that! We call it, Medicine for Headaches When life Is Bad. Side effects include more headaches. I suggest the massages. Instead of 1,000,000 bad reviews on our massages, we have 1 good review and 1,000,000 bad reviews. Warning, we are not responsible of your back if it is broken during our massage. We can also- wait why are you leaving? We have so much more to talk about! You can get a pet alligator! Don’t leave! What will become of this blog then? Don’t leave! Oh well. I guess I must dwell in my little place again. Wait! Another wanderer! Welcome, random wanderer who is reading this blog…!
COOKIES WITH MILK OH YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
So it was an ordinary day. Until letters started vomiting down our chimney and windows. Through the door and coming in from the toilet. The toilet was not happy about that. The letters said COOKIES WITH MILK OH YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH. What a great letter.
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A Tale of Two Groups Part 3
As always, names will be changed. I walked to the back of the school to get in line.Of course, the team thing was still going on. Captain Pizza was recruiting members by drawing pizzas on Post-It Notes and giving them out. Commander Taco was taking it a step further too. She had brought in a plate with paper tacos on them. She also had a maraca on it. She too, was handing out Post-It Notes. It would be tough, but I could live with this. Also, I forgot to say that I got a promotion in the Pizza People club. I’m not crazy for pizza, but it’s not half bad. Now what I really hate are Doritos. They taste like vegetables. No, I’m not going to share my first experience with Doritos. Better to think about the future than the past, right? Back to the story, I got a little sidetracked. In class, the teacher talked to us. “I know some of you think this ‘team’ thing is silly.” You can say that again. “But I don’t want you to go to someone and call it stupid or dumb. People are having fun with this. Now there is such thing as taking it too far.” I looked at Commander Taco and her plate with the maraca and paper tacos on it. The teacher continued. “So please, don’t take this too far. This ‘team’ thing is only at recess and lunchtime, okay? I don’t don’t want to take away your fun.” So that’s how second period ended. At lunch, Commander Taco was feeling down because sh lost one of her paper tacos. Then at recess, I played funnel ball. Its like basketball, but there’s no backboard. The hoop is kind of like a bowl with four holes in it, so the ball can get out. Penguin Man on out team was a ball hog, so it wasn’t much fun. When social studies came, I was stressed out because the “team” thing was still going on. Reading was filled with ” What team are you on?” and “Join Team Pizza!” and “Join Team Taco!” It didn’t help that when I was leaving social studies, I found a pizza badge stuck to my shoe. Plus, someone had secretly drawn a pizza on the chalkboard. I was still supporting Team Pizza, but I needed a break from this. Home. That’s where I can rest. Home was a whole new world. School was a different world. School was where the whole school asked “Do you like pizza or tacos?” Home was a quieter world. No “team” thing going on. So when I got home, I played basketball. Polar Tolar came out to play against me. That’s when he started talking about the “war”. Then I found a pizza badge stuck to my shoe. School’s world was spilling into mine.