The Wedding

People say America is a free country, but that can be a big lie sometimes. Kids cannot vote. Kids cannot use certain things without adult supervision. Everyone says America is free, yet my dad has once forced me again to write. About a wedding. Somewhere. I’ll spare you the details. Just so you get the idea of where the wedding took place, it was somewhere on earth. So we all piled into the car. Dad, Mom, Khang, Bien, me, and our most prized possession, iPads. It was the start of a grand adventure. Kind of. After ten minutes, the excitement died off. It was a six hour drive. I think we should go on the plane, but it seems like Mom didn’t care to listen to my opinion. One hour later, nothing happened. Then, something happened. I saw a bird. Landmarks will be pointed out soon. Greentown: The pole is green, the fence is green, and the grass is green, the trees are green, and that bridge is green. Bluetown: The sky is blue, the water is translucent, and the fence is blue. Hyperspace: This tunnel that has these weird lamps. Khang: A fascinating creature, usually eats with his hands. When we got there, we played video games. Just so you know, I’m going to use the term “played video games” a lot, so watch out. Then Vinh, who is my uncle somehow came. I don’t know how he’s my uncle. He’s even younger than me. Later, my cousins came. You know their names. Thucdan, Thuclam, and Thucquien. Then Jayden and Trystan came. So many people came, and the event wasn’t even today. When we had to go to sleep, Dad, Khang, Bien, and me went to the basement. Khang and Bien shared a sleeping bag on the floor. Dad put a sleeping bag on the bed and went to sleep. I put my sleeping bag on the bed. I stared at the treadmill by the bed. I hated treadmills. They always made you fall over. The safety key barely helped. You still fall if the key was pulled off. Then I fell asleep. Next morning, Thucdan gave us news that the wedding would take place in a garden. We played some games after breakfast, which was a doughnut and some milk. Always drink your milk kids. It’s important. Then my mom told me to come upstairs. She made me change into my wedding clothes, which was hot and uncomfortable. My wedding clothes was black pants, a blue buttoned shirt, and a black coat. When it was time to leave, Mom slathered gel all over my hair. Then I got into Vinh’s car and we left. We traded riddles, but that got boring. Then we talked about random stuff. After that, we stopped at McDonalds. I got sprite and ice cream. Vinh got a sprite and fries. Yum. The ride lasted about two hours. The we got there. The sprite wasn’t doing good for me, and I had to urinate really badly. So did Vinh. So we rushed over the bathroom. Then we had to walk in the blazing sun in the garden. There were a bunch of pinwheels, and a sign next to it said something about pinwheel day or something. We got the the wedding area. It was a big house and big semi-tent. When we got in, we were greeted by a friendly “ DO NOT RUN OR TOUCH ANYTHING.” After an hour of just wandering about the house, we went outside and played Connect 4. I layed waste to the other players, and I lost only once. Then the wedding started. The priest gave a long speech. two minutes ago they weren’t husband and wife. Now they are. That night when we got home, me and Vinh brushed our teeth. He finished thirty seconds before me, and when I come down to see him, he has somehow already injured himself. He was sitting at the wall. Khang had turned the treadmill on at twelve miles per hour, and Vinh thought he was the Flash and ran on it. He fell over of course. But held on the bars, which left being dragged on his knees. The were two major burns on both of his knees. Bandages were put on him, and that was that. The next day, we drove home, and when I saw our house, it felt like that scene at the end of The Hobbit: The Five Armies when Bilbo comes home after that big journey. In a way, we had an adventure of our own.

MILK WITH COOKIES OH YEAH ~Part 2~

When I looked at my computer, I got a bunch of emails. They said COOKIES WITH MILK OH YEAH! It was good stuff. The sender was The Cookie Lord. Impossible. I’m the cookie lord. So I went to his house. Then we fought and junk. Soon everything was fine. But then I got hungry. There was cake, ice cream, turkey, and cupcakes at The Not Cookie Lord Anymore’s house. But no cookies and milk. I was being starved. So I ate The Not Cookie Lord Anymore. He was a cookie.

Bear Hunter Bob

Today I, Mr. Bob, will be hunting bears. I am trying to find one that is yellow, wears a red shirt, and is obsessed with honey. The bear lives in a place we call 1 Acre Forest, while animals call it the One Acre Woods. My gun is loaded with grass. Do not ask me why. The government did not want to pay for this mission. I am now approaching a tiger with stripes. It appears to be bouncing around with it’s tail.

“Good morning weird tiger.”

“My name is George.”

“Have you seen a yellow bear that is obsessed with honey?”

“My name is George, and I can bounce.”

“But where is the yellow bear?”

“That bear is obsessed with honey. The bear’s name is Rob.”

“Ok, but where is he?”

“In the One Acre Woods.”

“But where in the One Acre Woods?”

“My name is George.”

This tiger appears to be useless, so I must move on. I now find a boy. Let me ask him where the bear is.

“Hello.”

“Hello.”

“Have you seen a yellow bear?”

“My name is Harry.”

“Ok, but have you seen a yellow bear?”

“Yes.”

“Where?”

“Somewhere.”

“Are any of you smart here?”

“I’m smart.”

“What’s 1+1?”

“7,192,732.”

“You are wrong.”

“Nu-uh.”

So it’s confirmed, everyone here is stupid. I am now approaching a rabbit.

“Good day sir.”

“My name is Jerry.”

“Have you seen a yellow bear?”

“My name rhymes with Harry.”

“Have you seen a yellow bear?”

“Yes.”

“Where?”

“The yellow bear is ugly.”

“I don’t care, where is the yellow bear?”

“On your face.”

“Are you saying I’m ugly?”

“My name is Jerry.”

This rabbit was not to bright either, so I will continue the hunt elsewhere. I will now ask this owl where the yellow bear is.

“Have you seen a yellow bear?”

“Yes.”

“Where?”

“Over by that tree.”

“Ok thanks.”

“He is gone now.”

“So where is he?”

“I don’t know.”

“Do you now anyone else that lives here?”

“My name is Terry.”

This owl was slightly smarter than rest, but not by much. Then I see a yellow bear. I will ask the yellow bear where the yellow bear is.

“Do you know where the yellow bear is?”

“I think I do. Follow me.”

The yellow bear takes me to his house. Hopefully this is where the yellow bear is.

“So where is the yellow bear?”

“I saw him in my mirror.”

We both looked at the mirror. I see the yellow bear.

“But how will I get the yellow bear?”

“I do not know.”

“I will come back later when I figure it out.”

So I sat at a tree.Thinking and thinking. Then I realized something. Something only a genius could figure out. The yellow bear was the yellow bear! I ran back to the house and shot the bear with my grass gun.

“You are the yellow bear!”

“I am?”

“Yes.”

“Oh.”

“I’m smart, right?”

“Not really.”

“Why not? I figured it out!”

“What is 1+1?”

“7,192,732.”

“You’re dumb.”

RED-X File 162836

We will now read you the secret message for your ears only. Apples and cows are not failing in their plan to take over the world. We must stop them. Take them out with this deluxe pillow shooter. It will take them out for sure. Or you can just punch them. i guess that works….. dont have to use this darn gun…………. and one last message. COOKIES WITH MILK OH YEAH!

~SPECIAL INTERVIEW WITH NAM NGUYEN~ Famous People Watchers Show

hello my name is jill and i will be the host tonight. today we found nam nguyen in the wild and we will now interview him. “Mr. Nguyen do you have any comments about your life?”

“I ate a hotdog yesterday.”

“ok what do you want to do with you life?”

“i want to eat a hotdog.”

“have you ever killed  man?”

“yes, with a spork.”

“why are you here?”

“to get my spork back.”

” is the man you attacked okay?”

“he is eating a cookie.”

“what fruit do you hate most?”

“apples, they want to rule the world.”

“where is your spork?”

“in a cookie.”

“did you use any other weapons to attack the man?”

” a spoon.”

“anything else?”

” I want a hotdog.”

“ok, can i have an autograph?”

“no.”

“may i see your spork?”

“no.”

“may i see your spoon?”

“ok.”

“you don’t have a spoon.”

“it is in the cookie. the cookie the man is eating.”

“is he choking?”

“no.”

“why isn’t he?”

“i gave him super powers.”

“i hear coughing and yelling from his area.”

“trust me, he isn’t choking.”

i am jill, ending this interview, because mr. nam nguyen is crazy.

Today’s Highlight

First at school, I ate a hotdog. But what really happened first was the “Gabe Accident”. Also, when people semi-cry, give them some space and it’s not really funny. So Gabe, thought that it would be funny to stand inside his locker. It wasn’t. Then Mario ( yes that is his name) comes in and shuts the locker. While he was doing that, I ate a hotdog. But what really happened while he was shutting the locker, was Ian, Captain Pizza from my earlier posts, opening the locker. Long story short the handle broke off. Gabe was stuck. While he was in there, I ate a hotdog. What I really did was give him a hotdog. Then I called for help. by that, I meant eating a hotdog. But when  I called for help, I meant to go and stare at Gabe. By now Gabe was kicking and yelling and eating a hotdog. Eventually, he kicked open the locker, and ate his hotdog in peace. Everyone was happy. I was the happiest, because I was eating a hotdog.

 

hehehhee this is khang nam is gone at the moment do you guys like ramen

Blog

Welcome, random wanderer who is reading this blog! Here, we can fill stomach with turkey, chicken, candy, ice cream, cake, lemon cake, chocolate cake, fruit cake, iced cake, cold cake, and bread. We also have a pool, slides, TVs, and our most famous attraction, the rock.  If you ever have a headache, we have medicine for that! We call it, Medicine for Headaches When life Is Bad. Side effects include more headaches. I suggest the massages. Instead of 1,000,000 bad reviews on our massages, we have 1 good review and 1,000,000 bad reviews. Warning, we are not responsible of your back if it is broken during our massage. We can also- wait why are you leaving? We have so much more to talk about! You can get a pet alligator! Don’t leave! What will become of this blog then? Don’t leave! Oh well. I guess I must dwell in my little place again. Wait! Another wanderer! Welcome, random wanderer who is reading this blog…!

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