Liquid

If I’m to be honest, I think that this was the worst day of my trip. Before someone slams me with the “Stop being so negative,” I’d like to say that if I tried to be positive about this day, that would be lying. I think you would agree that lying is a more heinous crime than being negative. So I’ll be blunt: my fourth day of vacation did not shape up to be a good one.

My fourth day of vacation was shaping up to be a good one. I would finally be leaving the abysmal, appalling, and awful hotel in exchange for a superb, excellent, and wonderful cruise ship. After I exited the bedroom, I found everyone getting dressed and leaving for a place I hadn’t been told yet, because nobody cares enough to tell me where we’re going. Angel had come over last night and along with her were people’s names who I don’t know. I’ll refer to them as Stranger 1, Stranger 1 #2, and Lady with Airpods. We had to wait for Khoi’s father, who was returning from his returning of the car. And so I waited. And waited. And waited. Everyone was getting restless at this point, so we were told to carry our own suitcases down the elevator and out into the street to wherever. It turned what they really meant by “carry your own suitcases” was “Here, Nam could you carry my suitcase please?” It was irritating, but complaining about it wouldn’t do me any good. It was raining and cold, and the morning street of Milan had pedestrians trickling about. There were a lot of things on my mind at this moment. Where are we going? Where was Khoi’s father? Where’s the bathroom? The questions rattled around and around in my head. At last, we walked past a statue of a giant apple and into what looked like an ancient building. I thought it looked old, so I took some pictures of it, hoping that I was taking pictures of something with some historical significance. It turned out to be a train station.

Once we got inside, everyone started waiting for Khoi’s father to arrive. I paced around, partly because I hate standing still for long periods of time, but also because I had to use the restroom really badly. Then, Khoi’s grandmother came with the two guys from yesterday. Everyone started saying their goodbyes, and the two men left. I stood in the corner and pretended to care about what was happening. The only thing I did care about was the location of the nearest restroom. After a decade, Khoi’s father arrived, and we all headed inside the train station. Shops filled the entire main room as well as what seemed to be hundreds of people going about their business. There was a lot of neat stuff I would’ve bought if only I had remembered to exchange my money. We skipped over the stores and headed straight up the escalator. After looking at a map, we headed over to an enormous room with several trains. Then the boomers said they were going to the bathroom, so I tagged along with them, because I had to go really badly. At the entrance of the bathroom, however, was a turnstile. Apparently you have to pay to use the bathrooms in Italy. I guess Italy really wants to capitalize on my need to pee. After dropping in a coin, I noticed that the toilet stall did not have doors. At least, it seemed that way. I assumed that there was a sliding door within the stall, but I didn’t have time to figure out how to use it. I needed to go straight away. There was a toilet in the back with an actual door, so I headed in there. After finishing my business, I pressed the button on top of the toilet. Nothing happened. I pressed it as hard as I could. Nothing happened. Maybe I have to turn it, I thought. I give the little button a twist. Again, nothing. I wondered what I was going to do now. For some reason, there was a plunger in the corner of the room. Actually, there was a lot of supplies in the corner of the room. Perhaps I had stumbled upon the janitor’s private bathroom. For a moment, I considered using the plunger to clean things up. Then I remembered how plungers work. I thought about what to do next. As I stood there, the answer became more and more obvious.

Run.

I took a quick peek outside the door to make sure no one was looking, and then I bolted. I wondered if I was going to be arrested for not flushing the toilet. I pulled my hood over my face, just in case someone saw me. Suddenly, I ran straight into my grandmother. She told me that everyone was waiting to board the train. I ran over, and Lady with Airpods along with the kids were missing. I later learned that they were buying some McDonalds. If I hadn’t gone to the restroom, maybe I would’ve gotten more than a cold chicken nugget. Anyway, Lady with Airpods came running to our group, along with Khoi and Vien. Our compartment of the train was in the very front, and we were standing at the back of the train. There was a mad dash to the front of the train. This makes it sound intense, but what I really mean by a “mad dash” is me doing a light sprint and everyone else doing the slowest jog imaginable. I had forgotten the speed of the people accompanying me. The train started to leave, and everyone was in a different place: Khoi’s father, Khoi, and I were at the front of the train, and everyone else was around the middle. There was no time left, so we got on whichever compartment we happened to be nearest to. This resulted in everyone being in different compartments. Khoi’s father told me to sit tight and wait while he and Khoi looked for the others. I waited for about ten minutes. I seemed like nearly half of my day had just been waiting. A few minutes later, I found myself inside a different compartment, the one where everyone else was. Then, my grandmother said that we were going to get snacks. There had only been one other time I was on an actual train, and there had been a whole compartment dedicated to selling candy and popcorn, along with other treats. I stood up excitedly, and then quickly sat down. My grandmother handed me a little chicken nugget box from McDonalds. They were cold. On top of that, the box wasn’t even full. Along with the nuggets, my grandmother also handed me some fries. I’ll eat those last, I thought. This turned out to be a mistake. After I gobbled down the entire box of nuggets, I looked out the window. There was nothing much, so I turned to eat my fries. Then I saw Stranger 1 eating the fries. Why me? I thought.

 

Once the train stopped, all the passengers exited. There was a big line to use the elevator, which I assumed went to the center of the train station. Since our family is as slow as cabbages, we were dead last in line. After we got out of the elevator, we started walking down a long tunnel. On my left, I saw Vien talking to Angel.

“Whats nine times eight?” Vien asked Angel.

She obviously didn’t know, so I answered. “Seventy-two.”

I walked off, and that’s when I heard crying. It was Vien. Her father asked her what happened, and she pointed at me. I’ll try to explain what Vien said next the best I can. I myself still can’t comprehend the stupidity of what she had said. Vien was really upset that she couldn’t assert her dominance to Angel, so she started blubbering like a baby seal with a speech impediment. Yes, she was angry because I said the words “seventy-two”. I truly am sorry for uttering such horrible words, and I can guarantee that I will never say such things again.

After Vien finished her temper tantrum, we all piled into two taxis and headed for the cruise ship. After a short while, we ended up inside this large building with a miniature model of the ship in the middle. I asked Khoi’s father why we were sitting down, and he said we were waiting for the Thucs. So I waited. This isn’t the last time you’re going to hear this phrase. After around half an hour, the Thucs arrived. Everyone said their hellos while I stood in the corner and pretended to care. After more tedious security, we ended up in the ship. Inside was a massive hallway with stores lining the walls, sort of like a mall. I’d like to be able to tell you that I had great fun at these stores, trying new things and eating new foods. This would be a lie.

I was sharing a cabin with my grandmother and Stranger 1. Therefore, I appropriately dubbed it, “The Boom Room”. There was only one bed and once couch, and I was praying I wouldn’t have to share any sleeping space with the boomers. I ended up not having to, but a great price.

I asked my grandmother for my glasses, and she opened up her purse. There, inside, was my glasses, with one of the legs fallen off.  My glasses were already in bad shape before this, so I couldn’t say I was too surprised. Luckily, I knew how to fix them, though it would take precision, and the glasses still wouldn’t be too sturdy. I searched my grandmother’s purse for what I was looking for. Soon I pulled it out: a tiny screw responsible for keeping the leg in place. I tried to fix it right there, but my hands were far to large, so I gave up and put my glasses in a plastic bag for later. I changed my clothes and headed down to floor 6 for dinner. Already down their was Khoi and his crew. He was wearing his glasses, and one of the legs were missing, just like mine. I wondered how he kept them on. We waited for everyone else to show up, and we headed to floor 15 for dinner. While heading there, Vien kicked me in the leg. I guess she was still angry about me saying the seventy-two-word, which is a bad word. I told her to stop kicking me. In response, she kicked me. It’s not like it hurt, but it annoyed me. As the saying goes: “It’s the thought that counts.” We walked over to the other elevators as Vien continued to kick me. I told he to stop. She kicked me. I got tired of this very quickly, and right when she was about to kick me again, I grabbed her arms and squeezed them. I was going to shove her as well, but I figured that was too extra. As I suspected, Vien began to cry like a baboon that got bit in the butt. For a moment, I thought she was going to start blubbering to the adults, but she foolishly told TL and TQ instead. This was fine with me, because their opinion doesn’t matter.

At last, we arrived at our destination. I wondered what kind of restaurant we would be eating at. It was a buffet. I have nothing against buffets; I actually like them. It’s just not what I expected. I ate a burger, a hot dog, and some actual warm chicken nuggets. A real gourmet meal if you ask me. I sat at the same table as Vien, just to annoy her. This was a mistake, because now I had to watch her eat with her mouth open. I told her to not eat with her mouth open. Vien continued to eat with her mouth open. I overheard my grandmother complaining that the quality of the food was mediocre. What did you expect? A high-class meal? This is free. My family members have very high standards for the rest of the world, while they’re okay with drinking sink water. I hate sink water.

After dinner was some pointless walking around, and then bedtime. Once I arrived in my cabin, Khoi’s father arrived. He made me switch rooms with Khoi’s grandmother so she could be with the rest of the boomers. Thus, I packed all my things and headed to the room where Khoi and friends was sleeping. My new room was a lot smaller, with just one bed and two bunk beds on top. At least I would get my own bed. This is where the day ended. The day hadn’t been good. Not at all. All I could hope for was a better tomorrow.

I’m bored of this website. There’s nothing to do besides writing. You could read someone else’s blog, but everyone hardly every posts, not including Khoi. The problem with Khoi is that he chooses the most mundane things to write about. I write about boring stuff as well (like this post), but at least I try to make it entertaining. There was an attempt to make the website more appealing by adding the games section, but they don’t work. I’ve tried a countless amount of times, but they don’t work. The most pleasure I ever get from this website is when I mock the other bloggers. Another thing I do to keep myself from drowning in boredom is trolling in the chat box, although I don’t think anyone realizes it’s me. There’s no point if no one recognizes my comedic genius. Actually, my trolling is usually ignored by everyone except for Khoi, who usually says something obnoxious like, ” I think the water gang is THUCQUYEN OR THUCLAM OR NAM”. A real astute observation, Khoi.

Every once in a while, I try to read TQ’s blogs. I wouldn’t even call them bad. It’s not good. It’s not mediocre. It just fills me with an odd sense of anger and confusion. What I’m trying to say is, the blogs are bad. TL’s blog is probably the worst I’ve ever read. It’s “too negative” and “needs to be more positive”. All she does is complain, and it makes me feel bad. You should never write negatively, because you might make someone feel bad and hurt their feelings. Anyway, TL’s blogs are trash lol.

 

If you’ve ever had to be humiliated by standing outside in the rain while holding a baby seat as you try not to look like an idiot, you’ll know that it is not a pleasant experience. When this happened to me, I thought that this would be the worst thing that happened on my trip. That wasn’t true, but it seemed like it at the time. The actual worst part was the cat. Or maybe the outlets. Actually, it was probably the insomnia I received from all this trouble.

 

I don’t remember what time it was when I woke up, but it must’ve been pretty early because the plane was still flying. I sat in my seat for a long time until the plane landed. Since everyone walks at the pace of a rotten turnip, I went ahead to baggage claims. It turns out that I was supposed to go to flight connections, so I got lost for a bit. We had to go through security again for some reason, and we got on a three hour flight to Milan.

 

If you’ve ever been on a plane before, you’ll know that the middle seat is the worst seat because you can not enjoy the window. Nor can you enjoy the ability the be closest to the aisle. Nobody likes the middle seat, and that’s a fact. I say this so you can understand why I was so annoyed having to sit in the very back of the plane between two strangers. Sitting with random people is bad enough on its own, but sitting between them is practically unbearable. You can barely move around without touching anyone, and you have to sleep with your head resting on the seat in front  of you. There was no point in sleeping anyway, as I kept waking up randomly.

 

After I left that horrid plane ride, everyone stood near the entrance as if they were looking for someone. They were looking for someone. The someone they were looking for were some people I didn’t know. Everyone started hugging and saying hello to each other while I stood in a corner and pretended to care. The men left as soon as they came, and took Khoi’s grandmother along with them to who knows where. Khoi’s father had to rent a car, so we stood around for half an hour, because apparently renting a car takes a very long time. Khoi took this opportunity to be annoying and try to steal my luggage. After a long while, we finally went up to the garage to obtain our car. We got lost. I wasn’t too surprised. A lot of walking around later, we went back to the car rental place to ask for directions. There was more walking about after that.

 

We drove through the busy streets of Milan, with a honking cars and pedestrians traversing the roads. After all my relatives hyping up the beauty of Italy, I was pretty unimpressed, but I figured things would look nicer after we left the city. I asked where we were going, and Khoi’s father said a hotel. The car halted at the hotel, and I was a little confused because the hotel seemed to be behind us. Khoi’s father and Khoi went to check in, and the rest of us  stayed in the car. I was playing on my phone when Vien asked me if she could play it. No is what I thought, but yes is what I said. She played it to the point where the phone nearly died, and I took it back from her before that could happen. There was a lot more waiting until Khoi’s father came back and told us to go move our luggage to our rooms. This is when I learned that we were not staying in a hotel. Upon entering the building, I saw a flight of stairs and and an elevator. Nothing else. The elevator was tiny, and by tiny I mean only about three people could squeeze in with their luggage. Once I got out of the elevator, it became apparent that the “hotel” was just a bunch of guest rooms you could rent for a night. I guess that description makes it sound like a hotel, but trust me, it’s not. Think of like a motel, but it’s in a tall building and the rooms are only on a single floor. Our room had two beds, a closet, and a table with a small TV on it. I wasn’t too concerned about the room at the moment; I was more focused on trying to find an outlet. There were a few outlets, but they didn’t have the correct holes that I could use. I gave up on my room and started snooping around in the second room we had gotten. The same results as the first. Then Khoi informed me that I needed an adapter to use the outlets in Italy. I guess it never occurred to me that a different country would use different outlets. I used Khoi’s adapter to charge my phone and Switch.

 

Khoi’s father was picking up Angel, who is a cousin of mine that I didn’t know existed until about two years ago. She doesn’t think too highly of me, so I figured I should ignore her. Her family would be the ones staying in the second room. I ended up playing my Switch in Angel’s room because the Wifi at the “hotel” couldn’t reach my room. Out of the kindness of my heart, I let Khoi and Vien play with me on my Switch. They were both terrible though, so things got repetitive pretty quick. I was then forced to take a shower by my grandmother. Something thing I forgot to mention is that every guest at the “hotel” shared the same shower and bathroom. I wasn’t sure if I should be annoyed by that or not, so I decided to be annoyed by it. After a hot shower, I left the bathroom only to find a grey cat walking around, which I assumed to belong to the owner of the “hotel”. Everyone crowded around it and petted it a bit until the got bored. Little did I know, however, the cat was evil and was plotting my destruction.

 

At about nine or ten, my grandmother made us go to bed. Angel’s flight had been delayed, so no one had come back yet. Unlike the previous two nights, I found it pretty easy to fall asleep. And then disaster happened. At about eleven or twelve, I was awoken by a lot of talking and some blinding lights. I automatically assumed it was morning, and tried to get a little bit more sleep before I was forced to leave the bed. It was not actually morning. What really happened was that the cat snuck into our room. Khoi, for whatever reason, thought there was a person entering the room, and woke everyone up, including me. I was pretty annoyed that my sleep was interrupted, and retreated back under the covers. But I couldn’t fall asleep. I don’t know why. I wasn’t tired at all. A long time passed. It felt like an eternity until I decided to check what time it was. It was two in the morning. I tried to go back to sleep. I couldn’t the time was now three in the morning. I was beginning to think that I was going to stay awake until morning. This didn’t happen, because somehow, I miraculously passed out a short time after three. I don’t know how, but I’m grateful.

On November 20, I was speed walking down the sidewalk to get to my car but also trying to walk slow so I wouldn’t catch up to the girls in front of me because I was not in the mood to be mocked by some sixth grade girls for no reason. Once I reached my car we immediately started driving to the airport. I was wondering what we were going to do and what I was going to see and what I would eat and not at all thinking about the things that could go wrong. I’ve never been to Italy, nor have I ever had the intention of going there, but I didn’t care as long as I was skipping school. It turns out that the vacation was on the worst possible day because I was going to go on a field trip the day after I left for vacation. I was also going to miss out on a basketball game I was looking forward to playing, but none of that mattered since a vacation is better.

 

I arrived at the airport, said goodbye to my father, and headed inside. Talking to anyone at the airport turned out to be embarrassing because the employees would try to talk to my grandmother while she talked in her broken English while I just stood idly to the side. Once we got through security I went off to find something to eat. I had about a hundred dollars for souvenirs, although most of it turned out to be useless because I forgot to exchange the currency. I bought a soda and some candy, but my grandmother guilt tripped me into buying an actual dinner, so I stalked off to buy some Chick-fil-A. If you’ve never eaten Chick-fil-A, you’re missing out because it is the best fast food you’ll ever eat. I ordered some nuggets and when they asked me for my name, I told them it was Nathan because people always manage to butcher my three-letter name. When they yelled out my fake name I reached out to grab the food, but I guess there was some other dude who was using Nathan as his fake name, because he took the bag instead. Then they gave me my food and I ran away and vowed to never eat Chick-foo-A again.

 

There’s not much to write about a plane ride so I’ll skip that part. After claiming our luggage, Khôi and friends came out to pick us up. Vien was being loud and irritating, while Khoi was looking like he wanted to murder someone. We drove a bit to Khôi’s house and I unpacked my things. I played ping pong and then chess and then the Switch with Vien, who is terrible at video games. I tried to fall asleep but Florida is too hot and stuffy and I twisted and turned around in the bed and it was very uncomfortable.

 

I woke up up in the middle of the night, thinking it was day. Then I checked my phone and realized that it was four in the morning, which I guess means I woke up in the early morning, not in the middle of the night. I fell back asleep and when I awoke, there was a lot of noise coming from downstairs. I brushed my teeth, took a shower, and then headed downstairs. Then Vien asked my if she could play my Switch. My brain said no but my mouth said yes and that’s how I ended wasting my morning with Vien, who still sucks at video games.

 

After Khoi and Vien left for school, I was forced to drink warm milk, which is and atrocity. God would probably cry if he saw that humans invented warm milk. At this time, the Thucs arrived for some reason. There was a lot of chatter, and as soon as they came, they left. I got this uncomfortable feeling after they left, which is called boredom. Luckily, I knew the cure for boredom. I spent the next hour napping on the couch until it was time to leave for the airport.

 

It it was a long ride, and about halfway through, Khôi threw a temper tantrum for no reason. We were going on a plane to London, and I was wondering what an international flight was going to be like. It was actually a big letdown, because international flights are extremely boring once you get bored of he movies they have. For dinner, I had chicken casserole. It turns out that I hate chicken casserole. I tried to watch another movie, but my eyes hurt and I fell asleep instead. It was at this point that I realized the vacation hadn’t even started.

A dinner in the sky is the worst kind of dinner because your food might fall out of your hands and into the abyss below. Actually, forget what I just said; the worst kind of dinner is a vending machine dinner. When I got to the airport, I was thirsty. The vending machine was selling Gatorade. I press some buttons and see the price. Three dollars. A single drink costs three dollars. This is atrocious, dastardly, blasphemy, ludicrous, and downright terrible. This is illegal, this is an actual scam. Why should I pay theee dollars for a drink I don’t even want that bad?

 

So after I bought the Gatorade, I went downstairs where I saw another vending machine. I was pretty hungry, and there were snacks. I tried to buy some peanut M&Ms, but…

They cost two dollars.

why are the m&ms less than a drink

Number Five: スーパーマリオブラザーズのスーパーショー！(The Super Mario Bros. Super Show!)

When I was five, I watched something that changed my life forever. It was The Super Mario Bros. Super Show!. I was blessed with the sight of the two most iconic anime characters, Mario and Luigi dancing on the television. This show was the first anime I have ever watched, and I will never forget the terror I felt when Toad almost died, or the sadness I experienced when Luigi left Mario, or even the laughs I had at King Bowser’s foiled plans. To The Super Mario Bros. Super Show!, I thank you from the bottom of my heart.

 

 

Number Four: 絵画の喜び (The Joy of Painting)

The Joy of Painting is one of the most important animes ever. The Joy of Painting is about  ボブ・ロス (Bob Ross) and his journey to become Hokage and find One Piece. It is a very emotional and story-driven show, with many likable characters such as ボブ・ロス (Bob Ross) and ボブ・ロス (Bob Ross). All in all, this is one of the most influential and emotional animes out there.

 

 

Number Three: 家の中のコリー (Cory in the House)

I was browsing Disney Channel one day when I came across the masterpiece that is Cory in the House. If I had to name the biggest strength of Cory in the House, it would have to be the animation. Every second of this show is smooth, crisp, and ultra-realistic animation. Anime has never looked this good. On top of the gorgeous animation, you have a great story about コーリー (Cory) and his father trying to survive inside the White House, where コーリー (Cory) meets many new friends and allies. This anime has a special place in my heart, I recommend  it to anyone going into the anime genre. 

 

Number Two: シュレック (Shrek)

I opened my eyes. I looked at the screen. I looked at a green ogre.                                                                                                                        And then my life turned upside down.                                                                                                                                                                                 シュレック (Shrek) is more than a masterpiece. It would be disrespectful to call it anything less, but even more disrespectful if I tried to communicate this anime’s greatness in words. シュレック (Shrek) was a roller coaster of emotions. It made me laugh. It made me cry. The story follows シュレック (Shrek),an ordinary ogre living by himself. But as the story unfolds, he meets new friends and companions, and he slowly learns how to tolerate others. It’s a wondrous tale of bravery, self-confidence, and learning to accept others. If I were to rate this anime, I’d give it a ∞/10. This is the best show of all time, and nothing can beat it.

 

Number One: ガーフィールドショー (The Garfield Show)

 

ガーフィールドショー (The Garfield Show) is the best show of all time, and nothing can beat it. As many of you know, ガーフィールドカート (Garfield Kart) is my favorite game. What many people don’t know is that Garfield Kart came from The Garfield Show. I know, crazy, right? The story is about ガーフィールド (Garfield) a fat cat that is lazy. We follow Garfield’s humorous life as he attempts to tolerate his roommates, ジョン (Jon) and オディ (Odie). Many evil villains live nearby as well, and Garfield must fend them off. In conclusion, The Garfield Show is my favorite for a myriad of reasons, too many for me too list here. So, I say you should watch it yourself, and experience the greatness firsthand.

 

 

Unless you are an epic gamer like me, you probably don’t know much about video games.  If you don’t know much about video games, then you are probably badly irritating and irritatingly bad. The Nintendo 64 was a revolutionary console that popularized three dimensional games. As for the graphics, they were amazing back in the nineties. Also, the TV you use to play a console does not affect how the game looks. Also, the TV only affects the resolution. Also, a 4K TV will  not change the art style of the game. Also, learn what an N64 is, you non-epic gamer.

So I need to write this post in order to get my iPad back. I also have to write this is Vietnamese. Today I am going to summer camp. I am about to become line leader, which is a very important job. If I don’t do this job, the earth may explode. That is how important it is. I’m getting excited for my line job, where a ceremony will be held when I become a true line leader……………………..sorry this was a bad story………nobody is reading this anyway……………sorry ill go now i suck at grammer………………….911”911 whats your emerge to get her…….too too//////”sorry what”??”911 WHATS YOUR NUMBER”IM DUMB…………….. By the way guys, did you hear about my new light switch? It is very cool. Can you guess what it does? It turns on the lights! Very cool! Well, I’m going downstairs so I can play with the light switch. So I hope you enjoyed this blog guys! Bye guys!

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If you are a dedicated viewer, you should know about my debate failure, which I had talked about in one of my posts. In case you haven’t read it, here is a brief summary:

 

Go read it.

 

So, two weeks after I lost the debate, my teacher asked me if I wanted to join another one for extra credit. I had been thinking things over for a while, and now I was confident I could win. The debate would be against another class, and it would take place next Thursday. Monday came and there was a sub for my social studies class. No news on the debate. On Tuesday, my teacher told me to study my Athens and Sparta packet because it would help me in my debate. I still did not know what the debate what about, and I was getting pretty anxious. In the last debate, I was given nearly two hours to write down my thoughts and arguments. Perhaps I would get that time on Wednesday. Wednesday passed, and there was no news on the debate. I wondered if the other class was preparing while I dawdled around. Maybe I was supposed to get time on Monday, but didn’t because there was a sub. On Thursday, I wondered if I had misheard the teacher on the debate. I was heading to math class when a classmate tapped me on the shoulder and told me the social studies teacher needed me.

 

The teacher dumped me with a load of information at once.

“You are defending Sparta.”

What?

“Debate against Athens.”

What?

“Convince the audience to vote for you.”

What?

 

Then, the social studies teacher shunted me into the hall so I could prepare for the debate. I didn’t know what was going on, but I was feeling pretty excited about being able to skip math class. My partner was the kid who told me to go to the teacher. I’ll call him Bob. Bob asked me what we were debating about. I told him I wasn’t sure. We began brainstorming on a piece of paper. Only a few minutes later, the teacher called us in. We had a single sentence written on the paper. The social studies teacher sent her entire class and me to the other social studies teacher’s class. Since I don’t feel like writing this much, I’ll refer to the two teachers as SS1 and SS2. When the class of SS1 arrived, SS2 had already gotten out their laptops to vote at then end. Two of the kids from SS2 were to be my partners along with Bob. I’ll call my two new partners Jilly and Billy. I asked Jilly and Billy if they had won their first debate, the one I had done last time. They both said that they had not debated before. My team had two debaters who had lost their last debate, and two people who had never debated before. On the other team were four debaters who had won their debates. The odds were stacked against us. Our team started arguing among ourselves on what should be our opening statement and who has to say it. Eventually, Jilly sacrificed herself and volunteered to do it. SS1 and SS2 told us to come inside the classroom, and all the the debaters solemnly walked in.

 

The teacher said that the audience is playing the part of Argo, a small city. Greece is on the verge of a civil war, and Agro (or the audience) must decide which side to join. Our job is to convince them to join our side, and mention why they should not join Athens. The debate began, and the audience immediately began taking notes, which worried me. Athens said some cheesy opening statement on why Argo should support them. Afterwards, Jilly stepped forward and said our opening statement. A few people cheered when she was done, and I took that as a good sign. After the applause died down, SS1 asked the first question. This is where Sparta’s problems began.

If you have never debated before, you should probably know what a loaded question is. A loaded question is designed to make the other person look bad, no matter what they answer. Skilled debaters can dodge the question and move on. Keep in mind, none of the people in the classroom were skilled debaters. About twenty-five percent of the questions were loaded, and it hurt our arguments badly. Our first question was fine.

“Why should women consider life in Sparta?”

We answered stuff about all the rights women had and how women had no rights in Athens. Athens started arguing about our remark, and soon, everyone was yelling at each other, trying to spit out their argument before the other. I just stood awkwardly on the side.

The teacher asked Athens a question on how Athens would be able to beat Sparta since Sparta had a superior military.

 

“Well, Athens is mainly based on education,” one of the Athens debaters began. “We’d be able to outsmart the Spartans with military tactics.

This is where I had what I like to call a “You’ve activated my trap card!” moment. I stepped forward and started to speak.

“Actually,” I said in my most smug voice. “Athenian education mainly consists of singing, memorizing poems, and playing instruments. I don’t see how this translates into military tactics.” Did you see what I did there? I changed some of my vocabulary so I would sound smarter.

“But,” one of the Athens debaters said. “Athenian education also teaches math and science.”

I was gonna hit them hard with another statement, but Bob stepped up and sarcastically asked if knowing two plus two was going to save them from being stabbed. During all of this, the audience remained mostly silent, occasionally murmuring in agreement with what was being said. I was getting a little frustrated, because getting the audience to cheer for you is what usually convinces everyone else to take your side.

Then, SS1 asked us the first loaded question.

“Sparta has a very extreme training process for becoming a soldier. Why would a man want to join Sparta?”

I did not know how to reply to that, so I remained silent. Billy and Jilly said some things about the tough training to be necessary, but they sounded unsure of themselves, which made everything they said seem weak. That should’ve been the end of it, but Athens hopped in to beat us while we were down. They made several accusations and statements about us, and at the end stated that Athens is more intelligent than us. A kid in the back of the class who I’ll call Josh started cheering for them and laughing at us, as if Athens had just said something really clever. Of course, this got the rest of the audience cheering for them, and I realized that we had to comeback quickly if we wanted to win. Our salvation came in the form of another loaded question.

 

“Athens,” SS1 said. “Women get little to no rights when living in Athens. Why would a woman want to join Athens?”

 

The braver one of the Athens debaters spoke up, but she sound like she was making things up on the spot. “Well, er… women in Athens receive education, unlike in Sparta.”

I noticed it straight away. I noticed that Athens had made their first mistake of the debate.

“Women are not allowed to receive and education in Athens,” I said.

Unfortunately, the Athenian debaters were quick to make something up. Even though it was a really weak statement, it was able to stop the audience from trying to take our side. My brilliantly thought out plan failed. SS2 said that the audience was allowed to ask questions now. This girl asked us a question. We answered it very badly, and I was hoping that this part of the debate wouldn’t last long. Then, a kid I’ll call James spoke up. I didn’t know it then, but James ended up saving us.

If you don’t know what mob mentality is, I’ll give a quick explanation. When a few people in a crowd start strongly supporting something, that gets everyone else to do it as well. If you’re trying to convince an audience, you’ll probably want to get a few loud people to support you. When James started asking Athens a lot of loaded questions, that made everyone else start asking them too.

“How will you defend yourselves?”

“Only ten percent of your population can vote. Is this really a democracy?”

“Why do women have to have arranged marriage?”

 

Athens tried to block them at first, but it became more evident that they couldn’t handle this. SS1 saw Athens getting nailed, and she ended the audience question section. Athens couldn’t get anymore traction after that. The crowd was on our side, and any points they made were disregarded. After what seemed like an hour of Athens trying to climb out of the hole they sunk into, the debate ended. SS1 and SS2 didn’t announce the winners yet, so we all went back to class. That was fine with me. At the end of the day, I learned that the Spartans won.

The rest of the story is boring. Hector’s father comes and begs for Hector’s body back, and Achilles agrees. After that, I must explain what the Luck of Troy is. The Luck of Troy is a shield that fell from the heavens, and the Trojans believed it to be a treasure of Athene, the goddess of wisdom. The Trojans believe it to be a good luck charm that will keep them safe as long as they have it. Odysseus has an idea to steal the Luck of Troy. So, he tells everyone he is going off sailing to find something (what it is isn’t important). The next day, a beggar appears in the Greek camp. He tells foul stories of everyone, and eventually, they get sick of him. They drag the beggar the the walls of Troy, beat him, and asks that the Trojans take him in so he does not bother him. Once the beggar enters Troy, Queen Helen spots him, and of pity, she takes him in. She tells her maidens to get the beggar fresh clothes and a warm bath. After all the dirt is removed from the beggar, she realizes that the beggar is actually Odysseus, her childhood friend. Because she used to know him, she does not rat him out. Helen tells Odysseus that Paris is away, asking for the Amazons to help them in their battle. Since Helen promises not to kill Odysseus, he promises not to tell the Greeks about the Amazons, so they cannot ambush the Amazons. Before Odysseus leaves, Helen gives him a sword and a sleeping potion. Odysseus begs his way through the city until he finally makes it to the temple of Athene, where the Luck of Troy resides. There are many people there, hoping for wisdom and guidance from Athene. At night, those people lie sleeping on the floor of the temple, with Odysseus among them. A priest is keeping watch, and when their back is turned, Odysseus whips out the sleeping potion, lays it on the floor, and pretends to fall asleep again. The priest, curious, takes the vial and drinks it. The priest falls asleep, and Odysseus takes the Luck of Troy. In the morning, Odysseus hides the Luck of Troy in his bag and leaves Troy. Odysseus’s theft has been successful.

 

Penthesilea is the Amazonian Queen. She agrees to help Troy because she is suicidal and wants to die in battle. Lucky for her, Achilles sees the Amazons raid the Greeks and he slays her. The Amazons were no help in the war.

 

In the next battle, the gods decide enough is enough and Achilles should die. Achilles slays several men before Apollo puts the idea in Paris’s head to shoot Achilles. His aim in straight, and it lands right into Achilles’s heel. He dies. From a single arrow wound. That is how the strongest Greek warrior dies.