Liquid

On November 20, I was speed walking down the sidewalk to get to my car but also trying to walk slow so I wouldn’t catch up to the girls in front of me because I was not in the mood to be mocked by some sixth grade girls for no reason. Once I reached my car we immediately started driving to the airport. I was wondering what we were going to do and what I was going to see and what I would eat and not at all thinking about the things that could go wrong. I’ve never been to Italy, nor have I ever had the intention of going there, but I didn’t care as long as I was skipping school. It turns out that the vacation was on the worst possible day because I was going to go on a field trip the day after I left for vacation. I was also going to miss out on a basketball game I was looking forward to playing, but none of that mattered since a vacation is better.

 

I arrived at the airport, said goodbye to my father, and headed inside. Talking to anyone at the airport turned out to be embarrassing because the employees would try to talk to my grandmother while she talked in her broken English while I just stood idly to the side. Once we got through security I went off to find something to eat. I had about a hundred dollars for souvenirs, although most of it turned out to be useless because I forgot to exchange the currency. I bought a soda and some candy, but my grandmother guilt tripped me into buying an actual dinner, so I stalked off to buy some Chick-fil-A. If you’ve never eaten Chick-fil-A, you’re missing out because it is the best fast food you’ll ever eat. I ordered some nuggets and when they asked me for my name, I told them it was Nathan because people always manage to butcher my three-letter name. When they yelled out my fake name I reached out to grab the food, but I guess there was some other dude who was using Nathan as his fake name, because he took the bag instead. Then they gave me my food and I ran away and vowed to never eat Chick-foo-A again.

 

There’s not much to write about a plane ride so I’ll skip that part. After claiming our luggage, Khôi and friends came out to pick us up. Vien was being loud and irritating, while Khoi was looking like he wanted to murder someone. We drove a bit to Khôi’s house and I unpacked my things. I played ping pong and then chess and then the Switch with Vien, who is terrible at video games. I tried to fall asleep but Florida is too hot and stuffy and I twisted and turned around in the bed and it was very uncomfortable.

 

I woke up up in the middle of the night, thinking it was day. Then I checked my phone and realized that it was four in the morning, which I guess means I woke up in the early morning, not in the middle of the night. I fell back asleep and when I awoke, there was a lot of noise coming from downstairs. I brushed my teeth, took a shower, and then headed downstairs. Then Vien asked my if she could play my Switch. My brain said no but my mouth said yes and that’s how I ended wasting my morning with Vien, who still sucks at video games.

 

After Khoi and Vien left for school, I was forced to drink warm milk, which is and atrocity. God would probably cry if he saw that humans invented warm milk. At this time, the Thucs arrived for some reason. There was a lot of chatter, and as soon as they came, they left. I got this uncomfortable feeling after they left, which is called boredom. Luckily, I knew the cure for boredom. I spent the next hour napping on the couch until it was time to leave for the airport.

 

It it was a long ride, and about halfway through, Khôi threw a temper tantrum for no reason. We were going on a plane to London, and I was wondering what an international flight was going to be like. It was actually a big letdown, because international flights are extremely boring once you get bored of he movies they have. For dinner, I had chicken casserole. It turns out that I hate chicken casserole. I tried to watch another movie, but my eyes hurt and I fell asleep instead. It was at this point that I realized the vacation hadn’t even started.

A dinner in the sky is the worst kind of dinner because your food might fall out of your hands and into the abyss below. Actually, forget what I just said; the worst kind of dinner is a vending machine dinner. When I got to the airport, I was thirsty. The vending machine was selling Gatorade. I press some buttons and see the price. Three dollars. A single drink costs three dollars. This is atrocious, dastardly, blasphemy, ludicrous, and downright terrible. This is illegal, this is an actual scam. Why should I pay theee dollars for a drink I don’t even want that bad?

 

So after I bought the Gatorade, I went downstairs where I saw another vending machine. I was pretty hungry, and there were snacks. I tried to buy some peanut M&Ms, but…

They cost two dollars.

why are the m&ms less than a drink

Number Five: スーパーマリオブラザーズのスーパーショー！(The Super Mario Bros. Super Show!)

When I was five, I watched something that changed my life forever. It was The Super Mario Bros. Super Show!. I was blessed with the sight of the two most iconic anime characters, Mario and Luigi dancing on the television. This show was the first anime I have ever watched, and I will never forget the terror I felt when Toad almost died, or the sadness I experienced when Luigi left Mario, or even the laughs I had at King Bowser’s foiled plans. To The Super Mario Bros. Super Show!, I thank you from the bottom of my heart.

 

 

Number Four: 絵画の喜び (The Joy of Painting)

The Joy of Painting is one of the most important animes ever. The Joy of Painting is about  ボブ・ロス (Bob Ross) and his journey to become Hokage and find One Piece. It is a very emotional and story-driven show, with many likable characters such as ボブ・ロス (Bob Ross) and ボブ・ロス (Bob Ross). All in all, this is one of the most influential and emotional animes out there.

 

 

Number Three: 家の中のコリー (Cory in the House)

I was browsing Disney Channel one day when I came across the masterpiece that is Cory in the House. If I had to name the biggest strength of Cory in the House, it would have to be the animation. Every second of this show is smooth, crisp, and ultra-realistic animation. Anime has never looked this good. On top of the gorgeous animation, you have a great story about コーリー (Cory) and his father trying to survive inside the White House, where コーリー (Cory) meets many new friends and allies. This anime has a special place in my heart, I recommend  it to anyone going into the anime genre. 

 

Number Two: シュレック (Shrek)

I opened my eyes. I looked at the screen. I looked at a green ogre.                                                                                                                        And then my life turned upside down.                                                                                                                                                                                 シュレック (Shrek) is more than a masterpiece. It would be disrespectful to call it anything less, but even more disrespectful if I tried to communicate this anime’s greatness in words. シュレック (Shrek) was a roller coaster of emotions. It made me laugh. It made me cry. The story follows シュレック (Shrek),an ordinary ogre living by himself. But as the story unfolds, he meets new friends and companions, and he slowly learns how to tolerate others. It’s a wondrous tale of bravery, self-confidence, and learning to accept others. If I were to rate this anime, I’d give it a ∞/10. This is the best show of all time, and nothing can beat it.

 

Number One: ガーフィールドショー (The Garfield Show)

 

ガーフィールドショー (The Garfield Show) is the best show of all time, and nothing can beat it. As many of you know, ガーフィールドカート (Garfield Kart) is my favorite game. What many people don’t know is that Garfield Kart came from The Garfield Show. I know, crazy, right? The story is about ガーフィールド (Garfield) a fat cat that is lazy. We follow Garfield’s humorous life as he attempts to tolerate his roommates, ジョン (Jon) and オディ (Odie). Many evil villains live nearby as well, and Garfield must fend them off. In conclusion, The Garfield Show is my favorite for a myriad of reasons, too many for me too list here. So, I say you should watch it yourself, and experience the greatness firsthand.

 

 

Unless you are an epic gamer like me, you probably don’t know much about video games.  If you don’t know much about video games, then you are probably badly irritating and irritatingly bad. The Nintendo 64 was a revolutionary console that popularized three dimensional games. As for the graphics, they were amazing back in the nineties. Also, the TV you use to play a console does not affect how the game looks. Also, the TV only affects the resolution. Also, a 4K TV will  not change the art style of the game. Also, learn what an N64 is, you non-epic gamer.

So I need to write this post in order to get my iPad back. I also have to write this is Vietnamese. Today I am going to summer camp. I am about to become line leader, which is a very important job. If I don’t do this job, the earth may explode. That is how important it is. I’m getting excited for my line job, where a ceremony will be held when I become a true line leader……………………..sorry this was a bad story………nobody is reading this anyway……………sorry ill go now i suck at grammer………………….911”911 whats your emerge to get her…….too too//////”sorry what”??”911 WHATS YOUR NUMBER”IM DUMB…………….. By the way guys, did you hear about my new light switch? It is very cool. Can you guess what it does? It turns on the lights! Very cool! Well, I’m going downstairs so I can play with the light switch. So I hope you enjoyed this blog guys! Bye guys!

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If you are a dedicated viewer, you should know about my debate failure, which I had talked about in one of my posts. In case you haven’t read it, here is a brief summary:

 

Go read it.

 

So, two weeks after I lost the debate, my teacher asked me if I wanted to join another one for extra credit. I had been thinking things over for a while, and now I was confident I could win. The debate would be against another class, and it would take place next Thursday. Monday came and there was a sub for my social studies class. No news on the debate. On Tuesday, my teacher told me to study my Athens and Sparta packet because it would help me in my debate. I still did not know what the debate what about, and I was getting pretty anxious. In the last debate, I was given nearly two hours to write down my thoughts and arguments. Perhaps I would get that time on Wednesday. Wednesday passed, and there was no news on the debate. I wondered if the other class was preparing while I dawdled around. Maybe I was supposed to get time on Monday, but didn’t because there was a sub. On Thursday, I wondered if I had misheard the teacher on the debate. I was heading to math class when a classmate tapped me on the shoulder and told me the social studies teacher needed me.

 

The teacher dumped me with a load of information at once.

“You are defending Sparta.”

What?

“Debate against Athens.”

What?

“Convince the audience to vote for you.”

What?

 

Then, the social studies teacher shunted me into the hall so I could prepare for the debate. I didn’t know what was going on, but I was feeling pretty excited about being able to skip math class. My partner was the kid who told me to go to the teacher. I’ll call him Bob. Bob asked me what we were debating about. I told him I wasn’t sure. We began brainstorming on a piece of paper. Only a few minutes later, the teacher called us in. We had a single sentence written on the paper. The social studies teacher sent her entire class and me to the other social studies teacher’s class. Since I don’t feel like writing this much, I’ll refer to the two teachers as SS1 and SS2. When the class of SS1 arrived, SS2 had already gotten out their laptops to vote at then end. Two of the kids from SS2 were to be my partners along with Bob. I’ll call my two new partners Jilly and Billy. I asked Jilly and Billy if they had won their first debate, the one I had done last time. They both said that they had not debated before. My team had two debaters who had lost their last debate, and two people who had never debated before. On the other team were four debaters who had won their debates. The odds were stacked against us. Our team started arguing among ourselves on what should be our opening statement and who has to say it. Eventually, Jilly sacrificed herself and volunteered to do it. SS1 and SS2 told us to come inside the classroom, and all the the debaters solemnly walked in.

 

The teacher said that the audience is playing the part of Argo, a small city. Greece is on the verge of a civil war, and Agro (or the audience) must decide which side to join. Our job is to convince them to join our side, and mention why they should not join Athens. The debate began, and the audience immediately began taking notes, which worried me. Athens said some cheesy opening statement on why Argo should support them. Afterwards, Jilly stepped forward and said our opening statement. A few people cheered when she was done, and I took that as a good sign. After the applause died down, SS1 asked the first question. This is where Sparta’s problems began.

If you have never debated before, you should probably know what a loaded question is. A loaded question is designed to make the other person look bad, no matter what they answer. Skilled debaters can dodge the question and move on. Keep in mind, none of the people in the classroom were skilled debaters. About twenty-five percent of the questions were loaded, and it hurt our arguments badly. Our first question was fine.

“Why should women consider life in Sparta?”

We answered stuff about all the rights women had and how women had no rights in Athens. Athens started arguing about our remark, and soon, everyone was yelling at each other, trying to spit out their argument before the other. I just stood awkwardly on the side.

The teacher asked Athens a question on how Athens would be able to beat Sparta since Sparta had a superior military.

 

“Well, Athens is mainly based on education,” one of the Athens debaters began. “We’d be able to outsmart the Spartans with military tactics.

This is where I had what I like to call a “You’ve activated my trap card!” moment. I stepped forward and started to speak.

“Actually,” I said in my most smug voice. “Athenian education mainly consists of singing, memorizing poems, and playing instruments. I don’t see how this translates into military tactics.” Did you see what I did there? I changed some of my vocabulary so I would sound smarter.

“But,” one of the Athens debaters said. “Athenian education also teaches math and science.”

I was gonna hit them hard with another statement, but Bob stepped up and sarcastically asked if knowing two plus two was going to save them from being stabbed. During all of this, the audience remained mostly silent, occasionally murmuring in agreement with what was being said. I was getting a little frustrated, because getting the audience to cheer for you is what usually convinces everyone else to take your side.

Then, SS1 asked us the first loaded question.

“Sparta has a very extreme training process for becoming a soldier. Why would a man want to join Sparta?”

I did not know how to reply to that, so I remained silent. Billy and Jilly said some things about the tough training to be necessary, but they sounded unsure of themselves, which made everything they said seem weak. That should’ve been the end of it, but Athens hopped in to beat us while we were down. They made several accusations and statements about us, and at the end stated that Athens is more intelligent than us. A kid in the back of the class who I’ll call Josh started cheering for them and laughing at us, as if Athens had just said something really clever. Of course, this got the rest of the audience cheering for them, and I realized that we had to comeback quickly if we wanted to win. Our salvation came in the form of another loaded question.

 

“Athens,” SS1 said. “Women get little to no rights when living in Athens. Why would a woman want to join Athens?”

 

The braver one of the Athens debaters spoke up, but she sound like she was making things up on the spot. “Well, er… women in Athens receive education, unlike in Sparta.”

I noticed it straight away. I noticed that Athens had made their first mistake of the debate.

“Women are not allowed to receive and education in Athens,” I said.

Unfortunately, the Athenian debaters were quick to make something up. Even though it was a really weak statement, it was able to stop the audience from trying to take our side. My brilliantly thought out plan failed. SS2 said that the audience was allowed to ask questions now. This girl asked us a question. We answered it very badly, and I was hoping that this part of the debate wouldn’t last long. Then, a kid I’ll call James spoke up. I didn’t know it then, but James ended up saving us.

If you don’t know what mob mentality is, I’ll give a quick explanation. When a few people in a crowd start strongly supporting something, that gets everyone else to do it as well. If you’re trying to convince an audience, you’ll probably want to get a few loud people to support you. When James started asking Athens a lot of loaded questions, that made everyone else start asking them too.

“How will you defend yourselves?”

“Only ten percent of your population can vote. Is this really a democracy?”

“Why do women have to have arranged marriage?”

 

Athens tried to block them at first, but it became more evident that they couldn’t handle this. SS1 saw Athens getting nailed, and she ended the audience question section. Athens couldn’t get anymore traction after that. The crowd was on our side, and any points they made were disregarded. After what seemed like an hour of Athens trying to climb out of the hole they sunk into, the debate ended. SS1 and SS2 didn’t announce the winners yet, so we all went back to class. That was fine with me. At the end of the day, I learned that the Spartans won.

The rest of the story is boring. Hector’s father comes and begs for Hector’s body back, and Achilles agrees. After that, I must explain what the Luck of Troy is. The Luck of Troy is a shield that fell from the heavens, and the Trojans believed it to be a treasure of Athene, the goddess of wisdom. The Trojans believe it to be a good luck charm that will keep them safe as long as they have it. Odysseus has an idea to steal the Luck of Troy. So, he tells everyone he is going off sailing to find something (what it is isn’t important). The next day, a beggar appears in the Greek camp. He tells foul stories of everyone, and eventually, they get sick of him. They drag the beggar the the walls of Troy, beat him, and asks that the Trojans take him in so he does not bother him. Once the beggar enters Troy, Queen Helen spots him, and of pity, she takes him in. She tells her maidens to get the beggar fresh clothes and a warm bath. After all the dirt is removed from the beggar, she realizes that the beggar is actually Odysseus, her childhood friend. Because she used to know him, she does not rat him out. Helen tells Odysseus that Paris is away, asking for the Amazons to help them in their battle. Since Helen promises not to kill Odysseus, he promises not to tell the Greeks about the Amazons, so they cannot ambush the Amazons. Before Odysseus leaves, Helen gives him a sword and a sleeping potion. Odysseus begs his way through the city until he finally makes it to the temple of Athene, where the Luck of Troy resides. There are many people there, hoping for wisdom and guidance from Athene. At night, those people lie sleeping on the floor of the temple, with Odysseus among them. A priest is keeping watch, and when their back is turned, Odysseus whips out the sleeping potion, lays it on the floor, and pretends to fall asleep again. The priest, curious, takes the vial and drinks it. The priest falls asleep, and Odysseus takes the Luck of Troy. In the morning, Odysseus hides the Luck of Troy in his bag and leaves Troy. Odysseus’s theft has been successful.

 

Penthesilea is the Amazonian Queen. She agrees to help Troy because she is suicidal and wants to die in battle. Lucky for her, Achilles sees the Amazons raid the Greeks and he slays her. The Amazons were no help in the war.

 

In the next battle, the gods decide enough is enough and Achilles should die. Achilles slays several men before Apollo puts the idea in Paris’s head to shoot Achilles. His aim in straight, and it lands right into Achilles’s heel. He dies. From a single arrow wound. That is how the strongest Greek warrior dies.

 

As usual, there’s another fight going on. Many of the Greek heroes are injured. Among the injured is the Greek healer (I forgot his name and I can’t find it anywhere). Achilles, noticing this, asks his trusted comrade Patroclus to see if he’s alright. Patroclus heads to the Greek camp and asks the healer if he will live. He says yes, but he won’t be able to help anyone for a while.

While this is happening, Hector is leading his army against the Greeks. Hector is overwhelming the enemy, and they’re being pushed back to their ships. Fortunately for the Greeks, Poseidon, the sea god, happens to look in their direction. He sees all the men dying and decides to help out. With Poseidon on their side, the Greeks begin to regain ground. Ajax decides that he doesn’t want to be friends with Hector anymore, and bashes him on the head with a rock. Hector is carried away, vomiting black blood. Zeus sees that the Greeks are somehow pulling back, and he decides to intervene. He tells Apollo to help Hector, and Apollo breathes strength into Hector. I do not know how that works. Hector is now more powerful than before, and begins slaying the Greeks left and right. Around this time, Patroclus is on his way back to Achilles. He sees all the bloodshed, and starts running.

 

When Patroclus returns to Achilles, he tells him about the healer, and about the battle. Then, he asks if he could borrow his armor. Patroclus thinks he can fool the Trojans into retreating if they think Achilles has reentered the battle. Achilles gives Patroclus his armor, and Patroclus impersonates Achilles. Achilles tells Patroclus to return once he has pushed back the Trojans, so that he knows he is safe. Patroclus returns to the battlefield, and many of the Trojans are frozen in fright when they see him. The Greeks get a new sense of determination when they see Patroclus, and together they push back the Trojans. Patroclus would have returned after that, but Zeus put a rage into Patroclus, and all Patroclus wanted to do was kill. He starts on a rampage before he is stabbed in the back by Apollo. Then more Trojan warriors stab Patroclus. Finally, Hector delivers the finishing blow. The Trojans see the Patroclus was not actually Achilles, and a fight begins to see who gets his armor.

 

When Achilles hears that Patroclus has been slain, he goes mad with grief. In his rampage, many Trojan warriors were killed, but Achilles was mainly searching for Hector. Hector stands firm at the gates of Troy, ready to fight Achilles. But at last second, he runs. Three times Achilles chases Hector around the castle. Finally, Hector decides that he want to go down fighting, and turns to face Achilles. Hector attacks with his sword, misses, and Achilles stabs him. Hector begs Achilles to return his body to his father, but Achilles gives no mercy. He drags Hector’s body behind his chariot and rides it around multiple times before leaving, showing Hector’s entire family his death.

On the way to Troy, Achilles and his gang raid small cities for food. In one city, they take two slaves, Chryseis, and Briseis . Since Achilles led the raid and Agamemnon is the king, Chryseis goes to Agamemnon and Briseis goes to Achilles. Lucky for Chryseis, she prays for Apollo to save her, and Apollo demands Agamemnon return her, which he does. So, Agamemnon takes Briseis from Achilles so he can have a slave. Achilles isn’t very happy with this. Achilles and Agamemnon argue like schoolchildren for a bit, but Agamemnon refuses to return Briseis. Furious, Achilles says he will not fight for the Greeks anymore, and that the Greeks will surely lose without him. While he is leaving, he encounters his mother, Thetis. Achilles asks Thetis to go to Zeus and ask for the Trojans to win the first battle, so he could prove that the Greeks would be demolished without him. Thetis obeys, and Zeus grants her wish.

 

Paris’s brother, Hector, is preparing for battle on the Trojan side. Hector is the leader of the Trojan army, and one of their strongest. Soon, the black ships of the Greeks arrive on the shore, and the two sides begin fighting. Paris challenges the enemy to fight him one on one. King Menelaus accepts the duel, and the two begin fighting. Paris loses to Menelaus, and his skull is about to get bashed in when Aphrodite intervenes. Aphrodite is on the side of the Trojans, so she slips an invisibility cloak on Paris and lets him sneak away. Paris goes back to his house, where he finds Helen. Helen is having second thoughts about betraying the Greeks, and is about leave Paris when Aphrodite puts a spell on her, making her unable to leave.

 

After the first battle, Hector challenges a Greek to fight him. Ajax, one of the mightiest Greeks, accepts. Hector and Ajax battle it out, both of them nearly dying when their comrades pull them away from each other before they are killed. Hector decides to exchange gifts with Ajax before going. And the two of them leave as friends.

 

During the night, the Greeks decide it would be a great idea to spy on the Trojans to see what they are planning. So, Odysseus and another warrior named Diomedes head out. Coincidentally, the Trojans have the same exact idea, and they send this idiot named Dolon to spy on the Greek camp. While Odysseus and Diomedes are walking, they spot Dolon. So, they play dead amongst the dead bodies and let Dolon pass them. Then they sneak behind Dolon and interrogate him. Dolon spills the beans, saying that the Trojans are sleeping outside the castle and are not preparing an attack at the moment. Dolon pleads for his life, but Odysseus knew better, and sliced Dolon’s head clean off. Then, they sneak into the Trojan camp and kill several men in their sleep. Odysseus and Diomedes return to the Greek camp after stealing horses from the Trojans. The Trojans were very surprised when they woke up.

So this guy (I forgot his name) gets married to some girl (I forgot her name), and this one god named Eris is angry that she didn’t get invited to the marriage, so she decides to get revenge. Her idea of revenge is tossing down a golden apple with “to the fairest” written on it. Of course, this causes an argument between some of the gods, since they think the are “the fairest”, and that the apple belongs to them. The gods who claimed it as theirs was Hera, the wife of Zeus, Athene, the god of wisdom, and Aphrodite, the god of love. Meanwhile, the city of Troy was led by King Priam and his wife, Queen Hecuba. They had a new child named Paris. Then, some idiot come along and tells them that Paris will bring about the end of Troy. Of course, like the reasonable person King Priam was, he chucked out Paris to die. Then, some woodcutter with a forgettable name comes and adopts Paris. He raises Paris for many years, where Paris falls in love with a wood nymph named Oenone. Paris is having a lovely life until the gods come along. Hera, Athene, and Aphrodite have been arguing for a very long time, so when they see Paris walking around, they decide that he should pick who the golden apple belongs to. The gods approach Paris and offer him gifts if he gave them the golden apple. Hera offers wealth, Athene offers wisdom, and Aphrodite promises a beautiful wife for Paris. Since everyone in this story has a low IQ, Paris picks Aphrodite.

 

One day, Paris come across the city of Troy, where Queen Hecuba recognizes him immediately (for some reason), and they take him in. This is where Paris hears of Helen, the fairest in all the land, who resides in Sparta. Since Paris is an insufferable brat, he decides to go claim her as his own, even though she is married to a king. Because Helen is also an insufferable brat, she leaves her husband, King Menelaus, and runs away with Paris. King Menelaus is reasonably upset, and declares war on Troy. Among the Greek (Spartan) warriors is a man named Achilles, son of Thetis. Achilles had been dipped in the River Styx, which grants invincibility. However, since Thetis is very stupid, she does not dip Achilles’s heel in the water, which makes his heel his week spot. Because Thetis does not want Achilles to go to battle, she sends him to an island where he has to pretend to be a princess (yes, really). King Agamemnon, King Menelaus’s brother, want to find Achilles so they both can go to battle. He sends Odysseus to go find him. Odysseus is actually the only good character in this story, so get use to all the other idiot characters. Odysseus hears rumors of the island Achilles is hiding on, and heads there, dressed as a trader. Achilles and the other princesses he is hiding among go to see what items he has. When Achilles sees the sword Odysseus is holding, he rips off his clothes and announces that he is a warrior. Achilles is very stupid. And so, Achilles and the rest of the Greeks head to Troy, preparing for a war.