My Neighbors

Today, your announcer, Mr. Nam, will be showcasing some neighbors. (Editor’s Note: No neighbors are for sale.)The first and only, Luca. Luca was referenced in my earlier posts. He is a jerk. He is a friend. Which is he? Only you can decide! (Unless he runs away.) One time, Luca kicked a ball and broke my fence! What a good friend he is! Another time, he threw a baseball at my face. Only a true friend could do such a thing! At last, he kicked my soccer ball into the woods and refused to get it! Luca is such a good friend! To return the favor, I tackled him and beat him up! (Editor’s Note: That last sentence is a work of fiction. No neighbors were harmed in the making of this event. What really happened may be too disturbing for younger readers.) Luca’s parents no longer want him to play with me.

Up next is Haiden. His dog poops on my yard. Haiden has such a nice dog! If you buy a Haiden, it comes with the dog! (Editor’s Note: Dog poop may be unsanitary. Treat with caution.) One time while playing football, I tried to tackle Haiden. He kept running, and I was dragged across the mud. Only a true friend would do that!

The last neighbor is one whose name I do not know. They also own a dog! And yes, this dog comes with the neighbor. (Editor’s Note: The shipping cost must be payed for this dog.) One time, the dog tried to eat Bien! We had so much fun!

To buy any of these neighbors, contact Nam. The phone number is- wait, no, Nam DOES NOT HAVE A PHONE BECAUSE HIS MOM WANTS TO BUY HIM AN OLD PHONE HE CANNOT USE. THANKS A LOT, MOM!

 

 

If I Were A Wizard…

  1. Steal a wand from the Harry Potter attraction at Universal Studios.
  2. Turn Khang into a pig.
  3. Tape TL’s mouth shut forever.
  4. Punish all my classmates.
  5. Tame a dragon.
  6. Turn my stuff into gold.
  7. Run for president in 2020.
  8. Hold all other candidates hostage.
  9. Become president.
  10. Become a dictator.
  11. Make National Bacon Day.
  12. Make Khang the Pig be the main feast on the first ever National Bacon Day.
  13. Turn TL into an elf.
  14. Make everyone pay ten dollars to throw rotten tomatoes at TL.
  15. Make TL eat the rotten tomatoes.

April 29, 2018

I just looked at my recent post, and the title said May. Oops. It’s actually April. My bad.

Last Friday night I went to Ryan’s house. Dad wanted to go there to watch the game. It didn’t matter much anyway, since we lost. I heard we didn’t get a lead once the whole time.

Okay, Khang calls me a bandwagon, but I don’t watch many Cavs games. I mean, unless it’s like the Finals or something, I’m not going to watch. The regular season is boring because I already know the Cavs are going to the playoffs. Not that I have anyone to explain this to. Khang hates me and TL could not tell the difference between a basketball and a beach ball. Khoi says he is “learning to play basketball”, but I bet he still can’t walk across the street while dribbling a ball.

While everyone was watching the game, Bien and I were playing video games. I won’t type much about that. Unless you want a full description of me playing video games.

It was the humble knight, Nam, entering the dungeons.

He had a treacherous journey in front of him.

Nam pulled out his gun.

Out popped these weirdos that kind of look like a mix between goblins and cannibals.

They were no match for Nam, as he shot them.

A silvery mist appeared every time an enemy met an unfortunate fate.

The goblins would make horrible screeching sounds every time they died, resembling TL yelling after looking in a mirror for the first time.

Nam collected his prize of gold coins and left the chamber.

See how boring that would be?

Soon, WONDERFUL ETHAN (sarcasm) showed up and started playing ROBLOX with Bien.

I was once again in my crippling loneliness.

A few hours later, the Cavs failed and we went home.

On Saturday, Mom signed us up for some board games at the library. I like the library, but I go there to get books. Not to play board games. Mom dropped us off at some room with a couple strangers. I took a juice box. The juice spilled onto my lap. Some teens looked at me like I was some creep. Khang did not want to do anything. Eventually, we played Connect 4, and I beat him every time. As if the boring atmosphere was enough to cope with, the monitor there started playing Irish music. This was too much. I wanted to leave, but if I did, I would have nowhere to go. Khang wanted to play RISK. After Khang read the rules, he said it was too complicated, and we were about to play SORRY! when Mom came back. Then she left us alone for Dad to pick us up. She gave me her library card so I could check out some books. Well, when Dad came and I went to check out some books, I couldn’t since Mom didn’t give me the PIN.

That night, I was cruising through the app store when I saw this Harry Potter game. Me, being the nerd I was, got it. I must’ve spent hours on that game. Maybe one day I’ll be a wizard. I’m eleven, so hopefully I’ll get a letter this summer.

If I do, you better watch out. You’d probably be on fire if I ever met you.

 

Goodbye,

Nam

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Field Trip

So today I was watching a basketball game with my dad, my older brother named Khang, my younger brother named Bien, and a flying cat with laser eyes. My dad told me to write, so here I am. But before I start, I want to point out that when I was logging in, it said “not secure” at the top. I hope someone fixes that. Never mind that though. Let’s start. Let me start with the field trip. We were going to City Hall on Friday, and the whole fourth grade was going. 3 people from each class would be in the council. In my class, it was Anthony as the mayor, Ian as the councilman, Grace and Salina as the councilwomen. There were other people in the other classes that got picked for clerk and stuff like that. Then there would be three issues to talk about. Each class would have an issue to study. For our class, it was if the city should keep chickens or not. Then everyone, including the jobless people, had to write an essay to explain why you’re against or with the issue. The jobless people’s essays would be checked by the teacher. Don’t ask me what I wrote on my essay, because I don’t have it with me right now. Then Thursday rolled around, and the teacher announced the 4 winners that got to read their essay at the field trip. The teacher started reading off of the winners list. “Mario,” she said. Mario stepped up, grabbed his essay, and sat down. Everyone clapped and cheered. If you were wondering, yes that is really his name. Then the teacher got everyone to quiet down and read the next name. “Nam,” she said. I got up, slightly annoyed because I didn’t want to read an essay I made in front of the whole fourth grade. Most people cheered, and some didn’t, because they knew this process would be repeated another two times. I grabbed my essay and sat down. The teacher read the next name. “Noah,” she announced. As expected, everyone cheered as he grabbed his essay. The last person the teacher announced was Courtney, and everyone became tired of cheering and clapping. Then we practiced and blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. Blah. So the next day, I had on the reading shirt the teachers asked us to wear at the field trip. They give one to each kid every year. There’s always a cheesy reading phrase on the back that goes along with each year’s theme. Last year, it was a space theme. The shirt said “Reading is out of this world!”. This year, it’s a camping theme. The back of my shirt said “It’s time for s’more reading!”. Yes, all of them have to be cheesy. So yada yada woo woo. Let’s just get to the point. We had to choose a bus partner, and got paired up with a kid named Xander. On the bus ride, we talked, but not much. When we got to the City Hall, the kids got in their places. The first issue was debating if we should have a teen center or not. The council read their essays. The speeches were long, and they really kept you thinking which side to choose. Although their endings were bland. EVERY SINGLE ONE had the same conclusion sentence. Not the exact same, but pretty close. “And this is why I think we should keep a teen center.” “This is why I think we should not have a teen center.” It was killing me. At last, one person said “With no more debate from the council, the issue is open to public. Please state your name and limit your comments to 3 minutes.” So some kids got up with their essays. Of course, the conclusion sentence was killing me. Then the kid spoke again. “The issue is now open to vote. Charity?” Charity said nay. I think. I’m not sure. The kid spoke again. “Luca?” He said “Nay.” This went on until the nays won. “The resolution has failed,” the girl said. So I guess there will be no teen center. The next issue was “Should we wear uniforms to school?”. Again, good speeches mostly, besides the conclusion sentence. The council voted, and no uniforms. Then came the chicken thing. Before you call me an animal hater, let me just say I didn’t really have a choice pick sides with chickens or not. Blah blah, we’ll be keeping chickens, yah yah. Then we got to wander around and eat pizza with water and fruit snacks. After that, we had to get back on the bus and go to the city’s Justice Center. We had a play where a kid named Marko was accused of not doing his homework, and was now at court. His lawyer, another student, did a good job, but in the end, he was guilty. After listening to the witnesses, I pointed out why he was innocent. The other students agreed, but I’m not the lawyer, so I couldn’t do anything if I wanted to. So real police came in and arrested him with real handcuffs, and then threw him into a real holding cell. They let him out later. Then we got to peek inside the holding cell. It smelled really bad. It smelled like a bunch of farts, poop, and pee mixed together. I can’t emphasize enough on how bad it smelled. The was a tiny bench in there, with a tiny toilet mixed with a sink in the corner. We got to leave that holding cell. Then we got on the bus. So that, my friends, was the field trip. See ya.

Teacher In-Service Day

Okay, this should have been posted two seconds ago, but my draft didn’t save. Either I have no idea on how to use this blog, or I didn’t let it save long enough when I gave it to my older brother Khang. So let’s take this a step back. I was writing on this yesterday, when Khang took this from me. I don’t think I gave it time to save before I handed it over. Anyways, because it was Teacher In-Service Day, we had a day off. It should’ve been fun for me, but someone gave away my laptop. If you want to know who, lets just say what I call her starts with m and rhymes with Tom. This does give me a chance to get a new one for my birthday since that laptop was kind of slow. My birthday is only about a month away, so I don’t have to wait long. Enough about the laptop though, let’s get to the point. Once again, dad told me to write about my day off. So after I woke up and brushed my teeth, I read Khang’s book. It must’ve been an hour until I came to my senses and got breakfast. I had a blueberry waffle with a cup of milk. Just to tell you, this post isn’t going to be long. So after a while, when Khang and my younger brother Bien, came downstairs, they had breakfast. After a long time, we played games and did stuff like talk about how many days Bien can go without whining or crying. Around nighttime, a friend named Ryan came over. We played on my Xbox 360. I had a Kinect which just sensors your movements and makes your character do whatever you’re doing. Almost like a VR. We played football with each other on the Kinect. Just if you wanted to know, me and Ryan won. After that, we had some milk. I had chocolate milk, and Ryan had normal milk. Then Bien started crying because he wanted chocolate milk too, but there was no way I was going to get out all the things I needed to make more chocolate milk. Sadly, dad came in and went on Bien’s side, so I had to do all the work. After that mess, me and and Ryan played a baseball game. It was rigged though, because half the time it didn’t swing when you did, and if did swing, it would be three seconds too late. Once again, I needed another snack, so I chose a small bowl of ice cream with whipped cream and chocolate syrup. The baseball game had been a tie, each of us having two points. We played Skylanders Trap Team. We were on the final boss, but all of our Skylanders died. We tried waiting for our Skylanders to revive, but we were taking too long. So we restarted the boss battle. Right when we were about to win, Ryan’s dad made him go home. So that was the end of Skylanders. We played ourselves.

The Life of Me

Today at night, my dad told me to write in here so…here I am. I shall write this eating grapes. Grapes are the perfect mix of solids that fill your stomach and juice that ends your thirst. Enough about grapes though. Dad told me to write about what happened today. So the first thing I did this morning was wake up, obviously. I got up and brushed my teeth. Then I went downstairs, got myself cereal, got my little brother Bien cereal, yadha yadha yadha. I need to note that nothing interesting happened today. I’m not living in a fantasy where I end up fighting dragons and wizards and evil people. Anyways, I changed, got my backpack, and left. I got on my magical floating train and took off. Ha ha. I used a car that my dad was driving to get to school. Let’s fast forward a bit so you don’t have to hear boring details about driving to school. So blah blah. I unloaded at my locker. I put on my gymshirt. I don’t know why we wear an extra shirt at gym. They say that any shirt with your name on it counts as a gymshirt. So every day at gym, we wear an extra layer of clothing. My theory is that the teachers want us to sweat more with the shirts, so when the parents see us, they think we have good physical education from here. Then more people will pay for this school. I’m not sure if this is true, but it could be. So when I got to gym, we did some stretching, some push ups, and jump roping. Then we spent the rest of the time playing floor hockey. When gym was over, I took off my shirt and sniffed it. It smelled horrible. What a waste of a good shirt. We walked back to homeroom, and did some boring math. Then I had a brain cramp. It took me about six tries to figure out what ninety plus twenty-one was. We learned some mind-numbing algebra. Then we did some reading . I wouldn’t call it boring because reading is my favorite subject. I’m gifted in reading. I’m also really close to being gifted in math, but not enough. I wouldn’t like math, even if were gifted in it. So we read this old book called So You Want To Be President?. Then we had to fill in this sheet. I kind of zoned our for about ten seconds. Then it was time for lunch. I had a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, an icecream sandwich, chocolate milk, and some fruit. Then I played Connect 4 with a kid named Ethan. The first few matches were a tie. He was pretty good. Then I started winning. I won most of them. The rest were a tie. He didn’t win a single one. Then we went back to class. Some boring language arts writing. Then super boring social studies. Boooooooooorrrriiiiinnnnggg. So then I quickly did my homework while they called dismal. I finished and left. I got picked up by mom in her hovercraft. Just kidding. She picked me up in her hoverbike. Also kidding. She picked me up in something that starts with v and rhymes with can. When I got home, I took out the trash, shot some hoops before going back inside, took a shower, watched TV, ate dinner, and now here I am. So goodnight everybody. And goodbye.

Random Trivia No One Cares About

1. Alaska is the biggest state in America.

2. George Wahington had nine siblings.

3. A goldfish’s memory span is about three seconds.

4. In your future, something will happen.

5. Reading the weird posts I made two years ago can be permanently injure yourself due to the weirdness.

6. Racecar spelled backwards is racecar.

7. Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: To have lunch at Fried Chicken Kings.

8. Squirrels can swim.

9. Nine Nine Nine Nine Nine Nine Two Nine Nine Nine.

10. Take off your couch cushions, and you might find a dollar.

11. It can be hazardous to eat yellow snow.

12. Twelve is my favorite number.

13. I don’t want to write on thirteen because I heard it’s an unlucky number.

14. I shall quote this from a friend. “There’s a parasite on inside your arm!” My response was ” That’s my vein.”

15. This is the last useless tidbit.

Back

I haven’t posted anything besides that winter break post for a long time. It’s been about two years since I have. So I decided to make up for all the posts I missed by writing about random stuff. Like why my brother acts like someone who is determined to blow up the world with a stinky cheese gun that everyone knows isn’t going to work, but he does it anyways. Then some protagonist comes and stops him or whatever. Mabye I should talk about how lazy I can get. But what I should really talk about is my life. Two annoying brothers. Two strict parents. One lousy school.  Most importantly, me. A small kid who’s short for my age. What could go wrong? I realized how stupid some of my other posts have been. They were just really weird. I’m pretty sure I didn’t write some of them too. That one with the cowboy or boat or something like that didn’t fell like something I would write. I should stop here and go get something to drink. Good bye.

Winter Break in Arizona

Hello. My dad said that he would give a 50 dollar iTunes card to whoever wrote the best blog with 500 words. If he didn’t talk about money, I wouldn’t be doing this right now. Anyways, here’s what happened. It was Christmas Eve. My family was at the airport, ready to go fly to Arizona. If you know me, which you probably do unless you’re just a random person reading this, my family has 3 kids including me. I don’t really like my older brother, Khang, but I still had to sit next to him on the plane. Then there’s Bien. I can’t really explain him. He’s nice? He’s mean? He’s in between? For most of the ride, I played video games and watched movies. I can’t really type that well right now, because my cousins at Arizona are distracting.

So when we got to my cousins’ house, we were greeted by one of my cousins named Thucdan. Khang and Thucdan went to church with her mom, but I didn’t go because I didn’t really feel like going. So I mostly played with my little brother Bien and used my 3Ds. After a while, it got kind of lonely. Mass was only supposed to last an hour, and it had been about an hour and a half. So I just kind of stayed in Thucdan’s room.

After another hour passed, 3 of my cousins, Thuclam, Thucquyen, and Khôi came home. We pretty much just played video games the whole time. Then we ate egg rolls and noodles. They were pretty good. After about another hour, Khang and Thucdan came home. Then we got to open presents. I got clothes and a Roblox giftcard. The gift card was useful, but I didn’t really want the clothes. We played the computer and more stuff like that, untill we had to go to bed. The next day, we used our rented van to have a road trip to California. It was a super bumpy 5 hour drive. Thucdan had to throw up 4 times that day. I wish I could erase the memory of her barfing, but I can’t. We ate at a Vietnamese restaurant, and it was good. Then we drove to the dock. We went on a boat to watch dolphins and whales. It was bumpy and I nearly fell over a bunch of times. There was a mini diner where you could buy food and snacks. I bought hot chocolate. The boat ride lasted 2 hours. After about an hour and 45 minutes, we gave up hope that we were gonna find anything. I became bored. Then we saw a bunch of dolphins. I was relieved that this boat ride wasn’t a waste of money. The dolphins found food and birds came and tried to eat the leftovers. Kind of felt like that one time when I was on a cruise on this private island. There was this food place. I got a hotdog and some water, but then these seagulls start chasing me so I starting throwing forks and knives and things and Bien at them. Ok I didn’t really throw Bien but still. We sailed back to the van and drove away. I don’t remember exactly what happened, but I think we headed to Las Vegas. Once we got there, we ate at this buffet inside a hotel I stayed in when I was little. The line was really long, so my dad just bought VIP access and we got inside in about 2 minutes. It was a French buffet. I ate this chicken and a pumpkin spice pie. It was delicious. Then we drove to our hotel. We got two rooms and they were really nice. My parents set up a hot tub in the bathtub. It was relaxing. I probably shouldn’t have stayed in it for long because my fingers were all wrinkly at the end. The parents left to go to the casino, so we got to do pretty much whatever we wanted. I am worried though, because my dad might have a gambling problem, not to insult him. But he did go to the casino a lot back in Ohio. We played a lot of video games. We made a show with the remote controlled curtains. I was the host, Thuclam was the recorder, and Bien and Khoi were the contestants. I guess we did something.Then my grandma made us go to bed. Me and Khang didn’t have the greatest spots though. Thuclam, Thucquyen, and Bien got to sleep in a bed. So me and Khang had to sleep on the couch. Khang got a blanket. I got a used towel as a blanket. It really concerns me on WHO used the towel. It was awful. The next day, we drove to the Grand Canyon Plaza Hotel. Then we drove to the Grand Canyon in the dark. We couldn’t see anything, so we went back to the hotel. It reminded me of when went to Canada with my family to see Niagara Falls. It was cold and too dark to see anything. So as I say, “What a waste!”. Once again, we played video games. The uncomfortable thing is that I had to sleep with mom, and she was sick. Dad just told me to face away from her. The next morning, we went to the Grand Canyon again. We had a great view. We saw the Duck on a Rock. Not a very good name for a sightseeing place, but a pretty descriptive one. Then we went to the Grand Canyon watching tower, which was pretty cool. My mom bought me a cheesecake Oreo pie and hot chocolate. We drove to a meteor crater and saw a bunch of things through the telescopes. It was kind of upsetting that we aren’t allowed to walk in the crater, but that was ok. We ate at Subway and then drove to Sedona. It looked so peaceful and nice there. The thing that kind of worried me was that there was a sign that had the suicide hotline number on it. I got hot cocoa and we walked along the trail. We pretty much ignored the danger sign and kept walking. I ended up tripping and now my knee has an injury. The parents were so slow we couldn’t see them anymore. Then I saw some trails leading down, which reminded me of the suicide sign. So I told Thuclam that’s where all the suicidal people go. We walked to the creek and did things like that. There was a pit stop and we ate at a Thai restaurant. The food was okay. Then we had ice cream. Khang’s flavor got plopped right on top on mine so we had to share. Khang isn’t exactly the cleanest person in the world so it was uncomfortable. We drove back to Thucdan’s house and played games. The next morning we played games. Then my dad told me to write this so here I am, writing this. My other cousin broke Thuclam’s stuff and now she is crying from guilt. So if anything interesting happens, I’ll write today. But if nothing happens, I will just write tomorrow. The next day I woke up really early. It almost felt like it was loud and quiet at the same time. I was going to write, but I didn’t know where this iPad was. So a few minutes after I drank milk, I played my 3Ds. I made a new level on Super Mario Maker, one of the Christmas presents I got early since we were going to Arizona. Then I heard Bien saying things like “stop”. Then I heard Khoi say something and Bien crying. I opened the door to see what was the matter. Long story short, Khoi punched Bien in the stomach for who knows what. He ended up having to stay in Thuclam’s room without any entertainment. I was still trying to find the iPad when I remembered I left it in Thuclam’s room. I wasn’t sure, but Thuclam’s room was the only room I didn’t check for the iPad yet. Unfortunately, Khoi had locked the door out of his anger. I asked him to open up, but he wouldn’t budge. Khang and Thucquyen tried to help me, but we failed. I grew more worried by the second. Was Khoi messing up the iPad? Then I remembered he doesn’t know the password, so I calmed down. Luckily, Thucdan knows how to pick locks, so I got in and took the iPad. But we didn’t see Khoi inside. Then I said he was probably in the closet. So Thuclam said in her own words ” He isn’t in here. Or no wait he is”. I wrote in here and played on the computer for a bit. As I was writing the part about Khoi punching Bien in the gut, Khoi said that we had to say sorry to him. Khoi also said “I hate you.” to Khang, and then he said he still likes Bien. That’s kind of weird to say because Khoi was the person who attacked Bien. Then Khoi started squeezing Khang’s foot to hurt Khang, but Khang just acted like it tickled. Khang is playing on the computer now, and I feel kind of left out on games. After a while I started to play games too. But then Thucdan’s mom took away our devices. We started walking around like we had nothing to accomplish in our lives. Then Thucdan’s mom made us go outside. The I did something. Oh yeah I did something. I did something so well you couldn’t tell it was me. Then we found some tennis stuff. We started playing tennis behind the house. I was on Khang’s team. It was pretty fun, although Khang kept calling me a trash player. It was Ohio versus Arizona, and there were supposed to be seven games. But then Thuclam rage quit, so we all went inside. We ate some food, and then I went upstairs. It was kind of boring with nothing to do. At night we watched Zootopia until Thucdan’s mom made us stop. So then I played the computer for about 5 minutes until I had to go to bed. Nothing really happened the next morning. We played a lot of video games. I stayed up until twelve. But the next day, I woke up to the sound of my mom talking to her sister on the phone. They were talking about helping my grandpa and grandma move in March or something. I didn’t know why, but I was super tired. After about 28 attempts, I got out of bed. I slogged to the bathroom to brush my teeth, but when I got close, it felt like I was staring at the sun! The bathroom lights weren’t even turned on. So I went to the other bathroom to brush my teeth, but I gave out, and collapsed on the hallway floor. Thucdan’s mom asked me what I was doing, but I was exhausted to even answer. I layed there for a long time until I finally got up and went downstairs. I sat on the couch and then got milk. Before I could even take a sip, my head fell on the table. I needed to go to the bathroom really badly. The second I looked in the toilet, I barfed. I stayed in there for a while, in case any more food wanted a return trip. Later, my mom got pho and that seemed to make me better. When we got home, we had to say goodbye and everything. Let’s say goodbye people. We went to the airport and took off back to Cleveland. My grandpa and grandma took us to their house after we got back. It was around seven thirty. We ate pho and went home. So I guess I told my story. I want to read everyone else’s blog to see what happened in their perspective. Well, goodbye, and goodnight.