Category: Uncategorized

Been sick several times and caught a disease. All in a month.

You’d think the air was contaminated here.

 

biens been doing fine. He’ll sit on his bum all day doing nothing. I’ve been doing the same. My bed is in the living room, if you could call it that.

 

Mom says this is good for me. I don’t leave the house until I go to school. I go to bed at 9 PM. I sleep at 2 in the morning. there was a sign in Ohio that says a person should get eight hours of sleep each day. I get six.

 

School is fine. Not much to say. It’s all pointless anyway. Half my classes teach what I learned in fifth grade.

 

my head and stomach hurts. Doesn’t matter.

 

As usual, mom lets me sleep through my alarm. then acts like it’s my fault she didn’t wake me up when my alarm sounded. she should get lost.

 

when we moved, I wondered what our house would look like. mom would never say anything about the new house. well, that’s because we have to live in grnadpa’s house. She say she’s gonna kick me out when I’m eighteen, but I’m not the one living with my mom in my forties.

theres nothing to do here. read books? I read the good ones already. Play games? even my greatest hobby is getting a bit stale. play sports? Too hot. Go swimming? waste of time, and I’ve been in my dark bedroom so long the sun hurts my eyes. same thing everyday. wake up, go to school, head home, wait five hours and go to sleep. nothing new. nothing fun. nothing happy.

 

biens cousins come over on the weekends. no, they’re not my cousins, they’re biens. They are annoying. I hate them even more than I despise Khoi. hating Khoi is an old phase now, though. he’s the least of my problems.

 

nothing from my my past matters anymore. it’s like reading a book with the first eleven chapters torn out.

 

my moms a jerk. in fact, after she reads this, she’ll go crazy again. she hated my last post because of the comment about her being drunk. even when she is sober, she’s drunk. she’ll hate this post too.

 

mom says I’m doing mood swings. she says she gives me everything I ask for but I’m still unhappy. so I ask her if I can go home. she scoffs, and leaves. this has happened four times.

 

i cried the first few nights. I don’t anymore. mom wouldn’t care if I started cutting slits in my wrists. she wouldn’t let me go home. crying seems pointless.

 

when I’m having one of my “fits”, mom will leave my there, lying on the cold hard floor. when this happens, I think about everything  that’s happened. there is a special occasion when mom isn’t some idiot barking orders at me. it’s when her sisters are over. then she’ll tape a fake smile on her face while I sit alone in a dark corner. she’ll tell her sisters I’m some good for nothing brat that appreciates nothing, and that I’m going through some mood swings. then she wonders why I hate her.

 

my aunt bought me a computer. As if that will make up for anything. mom acts like she’s the one who bought it for me, and that I should be grateful towards her. I’m not.

 

mom says living in her moms house is a temporary thing, that she’ll get a job soon. she’s lying, like when she lied about the house, job, going home, and going to a good school. one time I tell her she’s a liar. she gets mad and leaves me on the floor again.

 

My my aunt also bought a dog. look, she could buy me a limo made of gold right now and I wouldn’t be happy. the dog is cute, but it’s not like you can play with a dog. i could throw a stick for it to fetch, but I don’t see how that’s “playing”.

 

i tried to run away once. Mom chased me, but she gave up after two steps. she probably thought I was better off gone. grandpa and grandma found me, and took me to my aunts.

mom constantly wants to know where my wallet is. it’s a bit suspicious. it’s possible that she’s sunk so low that she steals money from children. last laughs on her. I pickpocket some of her money. when she asked me to give it back, I kept a five dollar bill. ha ha. it was funny to me when I took it. it doesn’t seem funny now. Nothing ever does.

I can see the adults now. “Nam, it’s not so bad. Your cousins have moved multiple times and they’re fine.” well, shove those words right back to your throat. That like saying, “Oh your friend died? Don’t be such an idiot and stop crying. All MY friends died. Suck it up, baby.”

i laugh at school. when I get back home, everything feels sad. now that I think about it, my laughs have all been faked in the past few weeks. I haven’t laughed in months.

the only thing I do no is watch tv. video games have gotten almost, boring. I never imagined I’d say that. maybe that was moms plan, getting me to stop playing games by sending me to Florida. It’s a silly thought. mom doesn’t consider what’s best for me.

you might wonder why there’s no title to this post. it simply doesn’t need one. what would be the title anyway? no one really cares.

”let’s go swimming!”, mom says. sad for you, you can’t swim. “let’s go to a festival!”, says mom. cheap shot, trying to get me to leave the house.

if I don’t die of lack of vitamin d because I don’t go outside, I’ll die from boredom. I used to be really afraid of death. Now? not so much. I’m still scared, but I’ll accept that if I have to. one must learn that death is inevitable. People say death is but the next great adventure. I say it’s getting a nice nap after a terrible and horrible day.

As usual, mom is out. just so I don’t make her mad, I’m going to say that she’s NOT drinking right now.

i started a journal. it’s my sixth one. I’ll probably get rid of it soon, just like the others.

I remember my first ever comic. I was proud of it. I stapled the pages together and showed it to Khang. then mom threw it away. being the stupid little boy I was, I didn’t notice and just made more comics. soon, those went missing too. I’m telling you this story because I have something to tell you: never follow your dreams.. I wanted to be a comic book author, and I failed miserably. if you try to follow your dreams, you’ll just end in crying and despair. never hope either. it will just hurt more if you do. Khôi want to be a pilot, bien wants to be an artist, all the other kids have some sort of dream job. dreams don’t come true. that’s why they’re dreams. let the almighty and wise adults answer the question: how many of your dreams have come true? one, maybe two. now, how many of your BIGGEST and WILDEST dreams of come true? none. it’s better to give up now. Learn this early, or you’ll just waste your life away.

“nam,” you might think. “what about those famous people who accomplished things people thought they couldn’t?” My argument is, well that’s why they’re famous, dimwit! if dreams came true all the time, and amazing things were always happening, there would be no famous people. if you make everyone special, no one will be. Dreams can come true. But that’s unlikely. nothing’s impossible, your dreams are improbable.

give up while you can

 

 

 

 

 

 

I did not go to Florida to go to some fifth-rate school. I did not come to Florida for my house to explode. I did not come to Florida to find bugs bigger than my hand. But all those things happened. (Kind of.) I came to Florida a month ago. My school is rated 3 out of 10 in ratings. Test scores are below average, and the website I read it off of says it is “concerning”. I heard a teacher got arrested there for beating a child. Our house nearly exploded when water got into the electricity. Sparks flew out and smoke streamed out like a cup of water spilling on the floor. We left outside for a while and came back in. Then the adults did nothing about it. People say I worry to much, but some people worry to little. Your house might explode, but all you care about is gossiping. And my mom calls me stupid. The next day, my cousin found a grasshopper and put it in a jar. I swear, it’s like all the bugs survived a nuclear explosion, because the grasshoppers in Ohio were green and were as small as the tip of your finger, maybe less. But the grasshoppers were so huge and brown, I actually thought he caught one of those giant cockroaches. Well, the day after that, some IDIOT placed the jar on MY BED. THEN SOMEONE (probably the same moron) KNOCKS IT OVER! EVEN IM NOT THAT THICK IN THE SKULL. I SWEAR, MY MOM AND MY AUNTS PROBABLY GO OUT DRINKING EVERY NIGHT AND THEN ARE DRUNK IN THE MORNING! I’m triggered because the mutant grasshopper crawled all over my bed. I tried to make Bien catch it, but you can’t force a baby to do the job. One day I’ll learn who knocked the jar over. Then when they go to sleep, they’ll find a nice big cockroach on their pillow.

My school is actually a prison. The school was unable to raise enough money to support the giant place, so half the school is dedicated to inmates from all around Florida. There’s a iron gate separating students and inmates, but there have been a few break-in’s.

 

Just kidding, the school doesn’t house inmates, but there wouldn’t be much of a difference even if it were true. There are iron gates surrounding the school. It was pretty clear that most of the students were no stranger to trouble. We arrived at the front office, where a bunch of late kids were signing in. A lady led Mom and me to the 6th Grade office. There we met the counselor. There was a school picture with a bunch of scribbles on it. I asked her about it, and she was like, “These kids vandalized my picture… No big deal!”

I was starting to wonder about the kids at this school. Than some tall 8th Grader lead me around. It was very brief tour. He just walked through the hallways and said, “This is the library. This is the gym. This is the cafeteria.”

The strange thing about the school is that in the middle was an outdoor courtyard with a statue in the middle. The hallways went around the giant courtyard. But the things is, there are no walls or doors separating the inside from the courtyard, so the hallways are always hot. I went to band class. That’s how my ears withered and died. It’s been a month since school started, and they still sounded like a whole forest of dying animals. Next was lunch. Back in elementary school, the cafeteria was always noisy. But the 6th Grade is giant. You could probably fit a football field in the cafeteria. The lunches were free since the school was sponsored by some organization I don’t know about. The first thing I noticed were the kids around me. They all swore constantly, like they were in some rap battle. I guess being in a rap battle also makes your grammar suffer, so everyone was talking in incomplete sentences. After lunch was “gym”. I put quotation marks around “gym” because it was not gym. The substitute didn’t know what she was doing, so she sent us outside to ponder our life decisions. I sat down and noticed something in the grass. I picked it up and found a cigarette. Nice to know. These kids smoke. Then these kids had a fight and the other one started crying. Cool school. After lunch was history. I was pretty late to history. I walked around the hallways for a while after the tardy bell rang. Maybe I would’ve known my way around if the guy had actually given me a real tour. I ended up in the office and asking them where to go. When I entered class, the guy was all sarcastic about everything, but not in the funny way teachers usually are. Apparently everyone was taking a test, so I sat down and he handed me a sheet.

 

Question 1: What was the “fight” over Florida?

Question 2: What did conquistadors do to Native Americans while in Florida?

Well how was I supposed to know this? In Ohio, the curriculum in Ohio was based on history in Ohio. So I know about Ohio history! Why do they expect me to know all about Florida? I sat there for half an hour until the teacher said, “Read the book, stupid!”

That’s not what he really said but that’s what it sounded like. There was practically no information in the book, so I’m pretty sure I failed. Math was next. It was pretty confusing since they were in the middle of studying ratios, which I haven’t learned about yet. Then we had to pick groups and do some work. I knew this was going to be a bad time since I hadn’t really met anyone yet. Then these two girls asked me to their table. I said yes, and the whole time they snuck each other these smug smiles. For some reason, it made me want to fight them. Science was nothing but confusion, and ELA was the worst. The teacher there looked and acted like she was a college dropout. She said things like “Yeet!” and “Shut up idiots!” I wonder how she ever got a job here.

 

Today on Monday, I walked into class. I was a little worried since I had taken a test on cells and on ratios, which I hadn’t studied on or learned about. My group in reading class was a bit strange. Let me break it down.

There’s a boy with glasses who is a pretty good artist. There’s a girl who is too cheerful. Lastly,  there’s a kid who I’m still trying to figure out if they’re a boy or girl. I haven’t had the courage to ask yet. The kid with glasses drew a picture of me. When I looked at it, the picture gave me this blank expression, like I had just murdered someone. I guess that IS how I look. At the end of class, the cheerful girl said I have a weird voice. I wondered what she was talking about, since I thought my voice sounded fine. I suppose I was voice cracking lately, but that’s just puberty. Then she said my voice was cute, like I was some barking dog. After I left class, I began wondering. What does my voice sound like? I mean, I think it sounds a bit deep, but on recordings it sounds high. I wondered what other people heard: a deep voice or a high voice. Someone tell me please!

 

I was playing video games one day, minding my own business. Then Khoi joined. At first he said stuff like, “Nam, stop writing stuff about me.” I guess he didn’t like my previous post, which was about the vacation. And then Khoi starts threatening me.

“Nam, you know I can control your blog, right?” He says this several times so I get the point. I wonder how this kid can control a blog if he can’t even control his temper.

After he left, I checked this site, to see what Khoi was saying. These are his exact words: “Nam, Thats not nice to write a blog about me, Plus, some sentences about me like: khoi rounded his boat around peoople and khoi made a stupid boat is actually false so some of it is not true about me.”

Honestly, if he didn’t like what he read, he should’ve just stopped reading. After Khoi reads this post, he’s probably going to do something obnoxious on my blog, like calling me a “stud”.  So if you read somewhere that Nam eats children, you can owe it all to Khoi.

If you have not read the previous post, please do. It is so bad it’s good. -Nam

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After I enter the school, the teacher takes us down to the media center to return the school computers we got at the beginning of the year.

“Are there any kids with broken Chromebooks?”, the teacher asks.

Several kids raise their hands, and are sent to the back of the line. Many of those kids look really sad. Perhaps it is because they’ll get charged. Or maybe they ate a bad burrito.

I really want the computer returning to finish so we can go on the field trip. “Hey Andrew,” I say. “How’d you break your Chromebook?”

Andrew does not respond, probably because he is still upset about the broken computer.

After the computer returning, we get on the bust. The teacher had said the lunches we brought would be stored in coolers, but the were tossed into a laundry basket. A laundry basket is nothing like a cooler. My McDonalds bag sat pitifully inside.

“Okay,” said the teacher. “Form a line.”

The rush of kids hurrying toward the door is unsettling. Miraculously, I am first in line. And what a bummer that turned out to be. I had to hold the door open for everybody else. We are split into four groups. My group was Andrew, Brady, Dane, Nicole, Kasim, Chloe, Brianna, me, and anybody else I forgot to mention.

We get on the bus, and I sit next to Brady. Andrew sits next to Dane in the seats behind us.

“The bus for ski club was way better than this bus,” I tell Brady.

“Yeah,” is his response.

And off we went. The forest we were heading to was only a few minutes away, so it didn’t take long. As soon as the bus doors opened, all the kids spilled out. It was as if someone had popped the cork off a champagne bottle and its contents came spilling out. Actually, that sounds a little wrong.

We began walking down the sidewalk. On my right, Nicole is walking with her new best friend, Kasim.

Nicole says, “Kasim is my best friend,” which I find crazy since they met three minutes ago.

So I say, “That’s crazy. You met three minutes ago.”

Nicole laughs that weird laugh of hers, and walks off. Kasim is a pretty cool dude, but he has somehow sunk as low as to hanging out with Nicole. Everyone knows Nicole is a bit out there.

While Andrew, Brady, Dane and I joke around, the teachers talk about setting good examples and all that. I don’t listen at all.

We enter the main building, and I admit, it looks pretty cool. There’s a model of the cit in the middle of the room, and a giant TV screen on the wall. We go inside the conference room, and that’s where I see this guy that looks like he’s in his thirties.

After we all settle down, the guy speaks up. “My name is Matt,” he starts off. Then he says some other boring things I don’t remember. He then introduces the other naturalists. After that, we get kicked off to our “stations”. Our first station is with Matt, so I guess this should be fun. I was wrong.

My field trip was amazing. There were giant spiders, the police came, I got arrested for trespassing, we saw a ship blow up, and we got free cookies.

Just kidding. All of that would’ve been a MUCH better field trip. Instead, we were sent to slog through the muddy floor while getting dirty.

It all started Tuesday night. Mom bought me McDonalds for tomorrow since she didn’t want to make me anything for the field trip. I went to bed. Then I noticed a bug crawling across the wall. I turn on the lights and I see this huge spider. I tell Bien to keep an eye on it while I get the flyswatter.

I really don’t like spiders. How they shoot webs out their butts, and how they have eight eyes. They’re just eerie to look at.

I grab the flyswatter and come closer. The spider had not moved much. I swing and miss. The spider falls through the crevice between my bed and the wall. Taking a peek under the bed, I see nothing.

Now I was nervous. I throw the blanket on the floor so the spider cannot contaminate it. I tackle Bien so he can get out of they way.

“Augh!”, he yells as he goes down. He quickly gets up and looks under the bed. “He’s gone,”, Bien says.

And people in fourth grade called ME Captain Obvious.

I grab a flashlight and look under the bed again.

“Maybe he’s hiding,” says Bien, who once again makes a useless comment.

Then Bien spots him. “It’s on it’s back!”

Indeed it was. And I knew the mature way to handle this situation.

I smack the spider into the wall with the flyswatter. Knowing bugs, it (probably) wasn’t dead yet. I grind it into the wall. The legs go flying off every which way. I’m sorry if this is too brutal for you, just deal with it. The spider lay motionless on the ground. Just to be sure, I smack it again. That was taken care of, and nothing overdone. Probably.

Bien disposed of the spider, and we went back to sleep.

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The next morning, I was pumped for the field trip. I was so pumped, I forgot to put on my deodorant. Little did I know, there was not much to be excited about.

It ate the usual breakfast, which was bootleg Cocoa Pebbles. I’m not kidding. The one I eat is called Cocoa Rice. If I knew how to show pictures, I would take a photo of the Cocoa Rice and show you.

I packed boots and my chicken nuggets. Khang and I hop onto the car. As soon as we reach school, I realize I forgot I had left my hat and sunscreen.

Well,  I thought. Too late now.

And I enter the school, unsure of what would happen next.

 

 

And now I realize this post is too long so I’ll split this up into about four more parts.

Would you like some Chooken Teenders? They are Kentucky fried. (Editor’s Note: Made in Idaho. You know, the potato place.) How do you know our Chooken Teenders are special? Because they are actually made from cows! (Editor’s Note: This is not true. You don’t want to know what they’re really made of.) You see, when a cow is cooked into a Chooken Teender, our special sauce brings it back to life, forming a preteen Chooken Teender. Our employees will then nurse the Chooken Teenders EVER SO CAREFULLY for two years.

But Joey? He really sucks at his job. Always slacking off. Wait, don’t print that.

The Chooken Teenders will then have secret spice sprinkled down on it. The spice will actually cause the preteen Chooken Teender grow into a Cheeken Teender! You see, when the methane gas (farts) touch the spice, the preteen Cheeken Teenders will explode, forming a Cheeken Teender. (Editor’s Note: Nam Company is not responsible for any persons gaining false knowledge of science.)

Chooken Teenders are delicous, but there are more uses! You can shave our beard without shaving cream! Don’t have a beard? That’s okay, shave your hair! Don’t have any hair? Shave your neighbor’s hair!

Chooken Teenders are also a great device. Simply ask, “Cheeken Teender, how’s the weather today?” or, “Cheeken Teender, show me nearby resteraunts,” or, “Cheeken Teender, why is my poop green?” Cheeken Teender has all the answers!

And if you’re still not convinced, then we have a third option! Cheeken Teender can break dance! Cheeken Teender has all the moves, such as farting, the “Why Can’t I Get a Job” dance, and the poopy dance.

Finally, a Cheeken Teender can be used for self defense! That’s right! See a robber breaking in? Pull out your Cheeken Tender! You see, the founders of Cheeken Teenders wanted it to also be able to defend a person. So, they inserted a razor inside the meat! It’s genius!  (Editor’s Note: Nam Company is not responsible for any persons swallowing undesired object.)

So do you want a lame Chicken Tender, or an awesome Cheeken Teender? The choice is yours! (Editor’s Note: Nam Company has dismissed all claims of customers being bribed to buy Cheeken Teenders.)

And now, a word from our sponsor.

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Have you ever wondered what to do with your life? Do you ever wonder what is the point of life? We don’t know! And now a message from the president himself.

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trainstrainstrainstrains YOU BEEN SELECTED TO EAT A BURGER whyamiwritingthis?ihavenothingtodowithmylifesomebodysavemefromthiscripplingdepression. 😀 🙂 🙁 >:) yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

(Note: I’m adding notes so people who do not understand the language of sports can understand.)I was outside today, and I decided that my neighbors and I should host an annual summer basketball league. Luca, Drew, and Khang agreed, so here are the rules:

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About 15-30 game regular season. (TL will not understand how sports work. Things like playoff trees will confuse her.) After the regular season is over, we MIGHT hold a free throw contest, All-Star game, three point contest etc. I haven’t discussed this part yet.(Note: Only 4 people in the league.) After that, the person with the worst record (# of wins and losses) is eliminated. The person with the best record will take a rest. The people in 2nd and 3rd will go against each other in a 5 game series. (First to 3 wins the series.) The winner will face the 1st place player in a 7  game series. (First to 4 wins.) Winner of that will be the champion, earning bragging rights until the next season.

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Since summer vacation was not upon us, we decided to have a pre-season game instead. (Small season before regular season. Does not count for anything except practice.) So I had a game against Luca. We were playing to fifteen. I score on Luca. Luca misses. I miss. Luca misses. He grabs his own rebound (when you get the ball after a shot) and misses again. I miss. Luca turnovers the ball. (Turnover= an error causing the other team to get the ball.) I swish a three. And then Luca forfeits. The final score is 5-0. So I guess in the regular season, I won’t be getting much competition from Luca. The only person I’m worried about is Khang. It’s not that he is an all-star, but he constantly reaches for the ball. I know being aggressive in sports, but he takes it way too far. He knocked me into the grass when I had the ball, and shoved Drew’s elbows into the cement. Khang thinks he is very good, but he constantly misses layups, even though he’s like a whole foot taller than the rest of us.

Just kidding. Sorry for the misleading title. My editor came up with that one. He called it “cool”. (Editor’s Note: Nam Is feeding you lies right now.) I have like, one or two readers and zero fans. My own mother does not read this blog. When your mom gives up on you, you’ve pretty much lost all hope. But I can try, can’t I.

SO COME ON OVER AND READ MY RECENT POSTS, BECAUSE MOST PEOPLE JUST READ MY TOP POST AND LEAVE, EVEN THOUGH I SOMETIMES POST MORE THAN ONCE IN A DAY! 🙂

Is it sad that I have to advertise my blogs IN MY BLOGS? THIS SUCKS! THIS ABSOLUTELY SUCKS! WHY DO I EVEN WRITE! DOES ANYONE EVEN READ- (Editor’s Note: We apologize for any inconvenience, because Nam needs anger management classes.)

Okay, Nam here, officially starting over. Hi there, single valued reader? Do you have nothing to read? Never fear, read my recent blogs, now under new management, because I’m just not stable enough anymore! I am now in charge of advertisements!

OTHER ITEMS FROM NAM BOB CO. (Editor’s Note: Bob is new official founder of Nam Co., which was then renamed Bob Co.)

The Bob Cookie: It can never be eaten! Trick your friends! The Bob Cookie: food that cannot even be eaten, so why would you buy it? A sweet TRICK!

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Bob Brand Water: It is water! Only 12.99 a bottle! But with special strength enhancement nutrients! Note: Does not actually enhance abilities, just more expensive. It is totally real!

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Bob Brand Fertilizer: This special cow manure will provide many nutrients for your plants! Bob Brand Fertilizer: It’s Total Garbage!

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I could not make this up if I wanted to…

It

You walk along the grass. The newly laid water on the grass tickles your feet. You are not wearing shoes. Why? Because nature is beautiful.

Trash bags litter the road in front of you. You are DISGUSTED. “There are not enough trash bags!”, you think. You take off your shirt and toss it down. You throw litter on the ground. “That is enough,” you think, smiling. “Now I can clean it up to seem like a good person!” Nature is beautiful.

There is a lost traveler looking at his phone. “This is a sacred place! Turn off your phone!”, you tell him. He looks at you and tells you he is just lost, and is using a GPS to get home. In response, you smack the phone out of his hands. It breaks. You run off. Little do you know, the man would be lost for the next two weeks until the forest rangers found him. Nature is beautiful.

You watch the beautiful scenery as you enter the thicker part of the woods. There is poop on the floor. You also spot a worm. You remember in science class that worms decompose waste. “This worm is slacking off!”, you think to yourself. The pick up the poop and dump it all onto the helpless worm so he can get to work. The worm suffocates. Nature is beautiful.

As you venture further into the woods, you find a squirrel. The squirrel is collecting nuts for the winter. “No!”, you tell the squirrel. You explain that nuts are probably living things too. You chuck the nut off a cliff so the squirrel cannot eat it. You think the nut is safe, but it bursts open and dies when it lands. You also killed the squirrel, because three months later, it dies of starvation during the winter. Nature is beautiful.

NO ANIMALS/PEOPLE WERE HARMED IN THE MAKING OF THIS BLOG.