I’ve been wanting to write about this for a while, but I never had the time. So here it is, my whole school life.
Kindergarten 2012-2013: Back then, there was this kid that went a little crazy sometimes. Once, he threw his shoe at me. It didn’t hurt, but I decided to pretend to stumble backwards. I never saw the kid again. There was also a kid named Morgan. Every Tuesday, I would see him leave the classroom with some adult. I used to think he was gifted, but I later learned he was just going to speech. Last, there was a kid named Johnny. One time when we had story time, John went to the bathroom. As the teacher starts telling the story, we hear someone from the bathroom sing the ABCs. Eventually, the teacher started knocking on the door and told him to be quiet. The teacher then continued reading, but then we start hearing someone from the bathroom going, “H I J K L M N O P…”.
First Grade 2013-2014: On the first day of school, the teacher begins talking to us. Then a kid asks why her foot is bleeding. She looks down and sees it on her foot. She explains that it is jelly. Then everyone starts laughing like it’s the most funny thing since Peanuts. I felt like I was on a comedy show. I later heard a rumor that the teacher ate the jelly at snack time. When I asked her about it, she said all those outrageous claims are untrue.
Second Grade 2014-2015: Nothing interesting whatsoever.
Third Grade 2015-2016: I had cut out a piece of paper with a stick figure drawn on it. I called him Jeff. Soon, we had a Jeff clan. We also had Jeff haters. Someone tried to rip him up. When it was my birthday, nobody said anything to me. About a week later, someone else had their birthday and everyone sang to him. I then asked the teacher why no one sang to me, and she said it was I didn’t bring food for the class. The teacher once showed us a video called Kitty High Five, and at one point, the video yelled, “High Five the wall!” Everyone smacked the wall as hard as they could. A teacher later came in and said it sounded like the walls were falling down. Every time we had state tests on our school iPads, the teacher would make us split up our desks so we couldn’t cheat. Whenever we did this, an annoying kid would yell “Avengers disassemble!” When it was time to connect again, the same kid would yell “Avengers assemble!”
Fourth Grade 2016-2017: We had this pizza-taco war thing. For more details, see A Tale of Two Groups, a blog I wrote about a year ago. On the first day of school, I was tired, so I leaned backwards onto a table. Unfortunately, I fell onto a drawer instead. One time I asked a question, and for the rest of the year, people called me Captain Obvious.
Fifth Grade 2017-2018: For Christmas, the teachers told us that we could decorate our lockers on Tuesday. Her exact words were, “You don’t have to, but I’ll be pretty sad if you don’t.” So I forgot about until Tuesday morning. I panicked, and grabbed anything Christmas related in the house. When we started decorating, I had a snowman on my locker. His face was scary. It wasn’t supposed to be, but it was just creepy. So I stuck a mask over him. Since then, strange things have happened. First, the locker next to me had all it’s decorations fall down. So he stuck it back on. When we came back, it fell off again. Next, people have been randomly disappearing at lunch or recess. They come back later and act like everything is normal. Once when I came to school, half the lights were dead. The snowman was also on the floor. So I stuff him in my locker so he can’t escape. I put his arms up, but when I return, his arms are down. When I bury him under my books, he is somehow on top when I come back. His mask keeps peeling off too, no matter how much tape I use. I look at my locker. The tape I used on him is still on. How could the snowman fall off, but not the tape? In science class, three fully charged Chromebooks suddenly died. My chair keeps disappearing, so I must get a new one. All these things happen in 217 and 215, the closest rooms to my locker. It never happens in 219, a classroom far from my locker.