I’ve become increasingly irritable and I don’t know why. I’m starting to really abhor my relatives and though I could give you a few vague reasons as to why they’re so insufferable I don’t think I can really pinpoint where all this hate stems from. In fact in the beginning I was planning to write why everybody is so awful but now that I think about it it’s only because of petty things. I don’t think it’s only me who has come to dislike people because everyone else has begun to dislike me too. This wasn’t the case last year so I think something must have changed within me. I don’t feel like a different person than yesterday or last week or last month but I will admit I’m a lot different than from three years ago. Actually now that I think about it I do feel ever so slightly different every day, depending on how good or bad my day is. Or it could just be teenage mood swings. Seventh grade me was an idiot who thought he had finally figured things out. This is because sixth grade me was an edgelord who pitied himself. Seventh grade me thought that he had finally turned over a new leaf and thought foolishly that he could be anyone. Looks can’t be altered, but personality can, he thought. And so if I can choose who I want to be I want to be someone people like being around, an all around nice person. Seventh grade me had watched too much anime and as an impressionable child thought that being a good person would reward you with a fun adventure and many friends. Seventh grade me was wrong. Because looks can be altered, only it is unnatural, fake, and very uncomfortable to do so. The same goes with personality. Seventh grade me thought being mature was putting up with people you didn’t like and he thought being mature was always smiling. Some people can always smile. Even when they hate everyone around them. I’m not that person. But I tried to mold myself into that person and I guess I eventually cracked, which ended up with eighth grade me. I’m content with eight grade me, who I am now. I was content with who I was when I was in seventh grade too. But ninth grade me is going to think I’m an idiot.
Anyway. What I’m trying to say is people who, when in a conflict with another, only consider their own feelings, are the worst.