So about two or three weeks ago I got into a sort of tussle with one of my classmates and it wasn’t an actual fight more like some roughhousing and since my Switch was in my pocket during the exchange… yeah you can probably see where I’m going with this. So I headed to the internet to see what my options were. I could do a self-repair but I’m stupid or i could buy a replacement which needless to say was a little pricey. Or I could just pay nintendo to repair it which cost a hundred dollars and I would have to ship it to them except I don’t know h0ow the shipping process works so I thought Yeah I’m screwed. Since then I’ve been moping around and i though I should probably just kill myself but then I thought Wow you’re going to kill yourself over a switch that’s kind of pathetic and I was like Yeah that’d be a pretty sad way to go out. It’s not like the thing is no longer functioning, it just has a very noticeable crack on the screen but it still bothers me.

Anyway I hate school a lot it’s not like I’m being bullied or anything but I hate school. All of my classes are boring save for gym unless we have to do mile runs the entire time in which case gym is boring as well. Last year I had a lot of friends and I would even go as far as to say that I was popular but this year my reputation which I had spent building up since preschool has all come tumbling down and I no longer talk to anyone. We pass each other in the hall and say hellos and if anyone asked we would say that we’re friendly but we’re really not. Also, I hate my method of getting home. School is let out at 2:30 but I get home at 3:15 because I have to take a school bus which transfers to the middle school where I wait half an hour for the middle school to let their kids out and then I have to wait about ten minutes because my bus is always the last to show up and then I have to scramble for a seat or else I’ll be forced to sit with some random kid I don’t know. I also I hate my method of getting to school because I have to wake up at five thirty in the morning so I can eat breakfast and everything so I can walk outside in the dark and wait ten minutes for my bus to show up while it’s freezing and while  constantly watching my back to make sure I’m not about to get murdered or kidnapped or something.

Everybody has some tightly knit friend groups and at this point it’s too late to try to squeeze my way into one and besides that’d take effort also I don’t really like talking to people much anyway. I get lonely when no one else is around and I want people to go away when they’re here which I know doesn’t make sense but that’s how it works. Even if I happen to make a friend or two I doubt we’d still hang out after I graduate from high school and if I make friends in college I doubt we’d stay friends after I graduated college. speaking of college I don’t even think I want to go to college because it seems like a waste of time. My dad wants me to get a master’s degree or something but the way I see it I’ll spend eight years in college and I’ll be twenty six by the time I get out meaning I’ll have spent my early twenties (arguably the most important time of your life) studying in college with no job and no way to make money. Even if I did want to go to college I don’t think we have a way to pay for it so I’d be headed to some crappy place that I don’t want to be in. The alternative is to get a scholarship and to get one of those I’d have to do exceptionally well in school except I have no ambition to do well in school anymore because as I’ve already stated I hate school and think it’s boring. In elementary school and middle school I was able to breeze by off of natural talent and because I was good at it I had some ambition to do well but now maybe I’ve changed and I have to think a little more when I’m jotting down answers and on top of that I really don’t care about learning anything because it’s all a snoozefest. I like writing so you’d think I’d like writing in ELA. I don’t because every single year I have to relearn how to write an argumentative essay over and over and over and over and it’s so tedious. To get some actual advice on writing the things I want to write I’d have to go to college which I don’t want to go to and also going to college just to learn how to write seems like a waste.

Speaking of college I’ve been thinking about what I want to do when I graduate and that answer is: write a book. But I’m bad at writing and even if I weren’t, the most success I could hope for is a few book sales and I’d go back to being unemployed. I don’t have the passion for any other job and I don’t want to wind up doing something I hate, not that I could even land a job since most people are looking for a degree when they’re hiring and I don’t want to go to college. So no matter how you slice it my future won’t be very bright and I’ll probably end up dead or something.

Also I’ve been signed up for a coding camp which nobody asked if I wanted to do it. I don’t. I have absolutely no interest whatsoever in coding and to make me do something I don’t want to do is just stupid. The reason I’m being forced to do this is so I can become an engineer or something maybe which is dumb and stupid and dumb because I do not want to become an engineer.

I hate how every Asian person makes their kid become a doctor or an engineer or a lawyer   just because they’re high paying jobs. I have no interest in any of those professions whatsoever. It pisses me off because it’s like everybody has this set path they want me to go down and if I don’t go down that path I’m a failure that didn’t meet my parent’s expectations. It’s toxic and suffocating.

Recently I’ve stopped playing video games and now most of my time is spent cruising social media. The reason for this is mainly because it’s not that fun anymore. It’s what I like to call short-term happiness in which there’s a small period of time where I can not think about things I don’t want to worry about. Once I stop I immediately just stop feeling happy. I wouldn’t call it sadness it’s more like melancholic. Each time I stop playing and look at the clock I see hours have passed and I feel like I’m wasting my time since I know tomorrow I’ll have to go to school again.

Okay I got bored of writing and stopped and now a day has passed and now that I’m reading this it doesn’t make that much sense but I’ll keep it because I must have spent an entire ten minutes writing it and I don’t want all that work to go to waste. Anyhow the reason I’m writing this web log is because I wish to discuss what a great band Tally Hall is. If you’ve never heard of them that’s understandable because they’re kind of underground and you all know I’m the kind of guy who is into underground bands. Like I listen to some pretty unknown people like billy eilshi, you ever heard of her? I don’t think so. I’d like to get a start in the music industry but I can’t sing and learning how to play an instrument is boring. Also I think French is a poopy language that’s needlessly complicated. Like if you want to say “the tall man” it would be translated as “la grande homme” except I lied that is wrong because it’s actually “le grand homme” because you have to change the spelling depending on whether or not the word is masculine or feminine, meaning if it was “the tall woman” it’d be “la grande femme” which is dumb and stupid. And it’s not limited to people because nouns like metro station also are masculine or feminine so you don’t know if you should write “la gare de metro” or “le gare de metro” because there isn’t a sign that tells you if it’s masculine or feminine so you just have to guess I think it’s masculine by the way but I don’t know. Also you have to conjugate verbs and I don’t remember how to for each one for example “Je mange l’orange” (I eat the orange). The spelling of mange is different depending on the pronoun so saying “You eat the orange” would be “Tu manges l’orange” and there’s an s at the end of mange for some reason which is dumb and stupid. And then for the pronoun “vous” it’d be “Vous mangez l’orange” and there’s a z at the end of mange for some reason. But guess what, vous means also means “you”, so why are tu and vous separate words? Well because vous is how you address people formally and tu is how you address people you know well. Why this needs to exist I don’t know. And also guess what. “Mange” and “manges”, when said out loud, are pronounced the same anyway so what’s the point.

Anyway as I was saying. As I was reading my blogs I thought that it didn’t make much sense and that’s because it’s easy for me to think what I want to say easily but to actually put the words out on paper is difficult and boring and guess what I’m already getting tired of trying to sound out my thoughts right now. A lot of the times I just sit and stare at the screen for five hours and I’ll only have a page and a half written down and that is not even an exaggeration. What’s bouncing around in my head aren’t actually coherent sentences more like words and phrases. Not really but that’s the thing the comes closest to describing it. I think my thoughts as if I’m narrating to some unseen audience and even right now I’m narrating in my head about how I’m writing this and right now I’m explaining to my nonexistent audience my thoughts. That might sound a little odd but at least I’m not talking to myself because that’s kind of weird. Anyway I’m bored now so I’m going to stop writing.

so guys, I hope dyou enjoyed my blog. Don’t bother responding because you’re opinion is wroung and you’re just a hater. sayonara!