Recently, my grade had to take a spelling test to see if you qualify for a spelling bee. I did not want to be in the spelling bee, but it would be incredibly shameful for a genius of my caliber to not make the cut. After I made it to the top twenty kids in the grade, I was planning to drop out, just so I could waste a spot on the spelling bee roster. However, I made a mistake in my calculations. I knew that other kids had the same idea as me, but I never thought that it would result in my demise. When the staff called a few other kids and me up to the podium, they told us that we had to participate. At first I was confused, because I was told that joining was optional. I suppose so many people had dropped out of the spelling bee that they couldn’t afford to lose more people. Thus, I await my doom at second period this Friday, waiting to be humiliated for my frankly subpar spelling. I mean, I could easily win the spelling bee if I really tried, but I want to make it fair for everyone. So, I will only be using 4% of my Master Spelling Power.
After lunch, the staff sends us to this random room because they don’t know what to do with us. Most of the time, I end up playing a boring card game while almost everyone else hides in the back and plays on their phones. I lost in chess today (because I wasn’t trying). Afterwards was science. We have assigned seats, but since there was as sub, everyone sat where they pleased. The sub has a really think accent, and everyone kept asking her to repeat things because no one could understand her. We then had to watch a video about Galileo, who just like me, was an unappreciated genius of his time. For example, I think my sarcastic humor is on point, but some simpletons just aren’t picking up on it. I think when you can say something in a completely serious tone and people will still know you’re being sarcastic is when you’ve perfected the craft. If you say something stupid and people already know you aren’t stupid, they’ll be able to pick up on the sarcasm. Sadly, the people I make sarcastic remarks to seem to believe that I really am stupid, which is just preposterous.
Actually, I think I’ve become too much of a genius. Every month, you have to submit stories to the ELA teacher, and everytime my ELA teacher gives me back my writing, she says I am too sarcastic. Of course, my masterful writing is appreciated by none. Mind you, my ELA teacher is actually a science teacher, but she got forced to work as an ELA teacher. If anyone can criticize my writing, it should be me, because I am the most competent writer of all time.