undercooked pineapple

Because I’m an idiot, I had this fantastic idea to run for student council. I was only running against two other people, and two representatives would be picked. This meant there was only a 1/3 chance I wouldn’t be picked. I think my odds were very good. Then, one of my friends said, “You realize you have to go to meetings after school, right?” That is how my campaign went up in flames.

 

 

 

A few days later, I had another stroke of genius. The teacher gave us a sheet with clubs we might like to make. Of course, I checked the anime club. I’m getting hyped for our first meeting when the club is finally made.

 

I’m still waiting, Mr. Bennet.

 

 

 

The next thing I have decided to do is enter an art contest with a prize of zero dollars if you win. The winner’s art will go on the cover of a school magazine that nobody reads. Of course, my art isn’t exactly good, nor is it exactly finished. However, I have found a genius art hack. If you turn in a garbage art piece and call it your “artistic style”, the teachers will eat it right up. I think my chances of winning are pretty good.

 

 

My social studies teacher asked me if I wanted to participate in a debate. Of course, like the young naive child I was, I said yes. My partner for the debate wussed out, so I got a new one. My new partner was very annoying and very useless. I still needed a third person, so I asked one of my classmates if he would do it. He answered with a yes. I began writing the outline for the arguments I would make.

 

When the day of the debate arrived, I asked my classmate to go rehearse with us. To my surprise, he also chickened out. Betrayal would describe everything accurately. Now I was short one partner. I asked around for a new partner, and a new guy said he would do it. The debate started. The new guy mouthed to me, “I don’t think I want to do this anymore.” I kicked him in the back of his knees, and he shut up.

 

My opponents said a fairly good argument, but  I had something to counter it. I searched through my papers to find the evidence, and while I did that, I told my annoying partner to read off our arguments sheet. Now, I admit that this was partly my fault for not realizing that my annoying partner would somehow screw up the easiest job in the world. Instead of vaguely following the sheet, he read it word for word.

 

If the opposition attempts to claim that the defendant was acting in only his best interests, respond by saying-“

I kicked him really hard in the leg, and he stopped. There was some laughter throughout the entire classroom. I wish I had a more competent partner. The new guy just stared at the ground, saying nothing. I had to carry the entire debate now.

 

”So if uh, Arcades really was guilty of uh, illegally keeping the dowry, uh….. well he needed it to support his family. Er, I’m done.”

We lost the debate.