Since the beginning of time, mankind has strived to answer one question: Who writes the best blogs on this website. I’m going to take the time to answer this question and fairly review each blogger.
First up is Khôi. Khôi is a newcomer to this website, with only about four blogs. His grammar is pretty good, but his blogs are too positive. I mean, why should he be able to write in a certain tone? Secondly, his titles do not always match up with his blog. For instance, in his blog Favorite Restaraunts, he does not even talk about McDonalds. McDonalds has been serving the highest quality meals since 1941, and for Khôi to not include that is a disgrace. After reading every single one of Khoi’s blogs, I realized something was very wrong. I searched and searched until I finally realized what was bothering me: Khoi is actually a member of a cult. Think about it; have you ever seen a cult member and Khôi in a room at the same time? No, and if you have, it must be because he is having a meeting with the cult leader! I read some more, and soon I had discovered the dark secrets of Khôi. I read in some old news articles that in 1945, Khoi had been arrested for stealing radioactive waste. Could this connect him with the cult? I asked around, but all people with a connection to Khoi seem to have disappeared. From this point, the trail becomes cold, and the truth about Khoi is lost forever…
Anyway, I’m going to have to give Khoi a 6/10 because he misspelled a word one time.
Next up is ThucLam. ThucLam is an unfortunate soul who was diagnosed with a rare condition as a child. This condition is called Obliviousness. Alas, I have to be fair, and I will judge ThucLam as though she were any other blogger. Her writing is fine but her grammar is horrid. In one blog, she writes, “big poopy stinky pee poo.” As we all know, there should be a comma in between the adjectives. For this reason, I’m going to have to give ThucLam a 9.5/10.
Finally we have ThucQuyen. I cannot comprehend a word of her writing. My brain starts to melt every time I try to read it. I try and try, but something was holding me back. Suddenly, it hit me. ThucQuyen is an atheist, and she is writing in the ancient language of the early man. If you do not know what an atheist is, it is someone who believes Shrek 2 was not a good movie. Think about it. In her most recent blog, she writes “apple eat one every day protein evry won should always eat apples apples are good for yo-”. I thought about this for a long time. Could “apples” be a code name for a poisonous drug? Why did she stop writing at the end? Did someone take her out for revealing too much information? Suddenly, it clicked. Khoi and ThucQuyen are in lagoons! They are both in the same cult, working together to stop Shrek 5 from being made! For this reason, I’m going to have to give ThucQuyen a 8/10.
So now that you have read my reviews, I will now say who the best blogger is. Drumroll please….
And the very best blogger is….. me.
But really, does any of this matter? It’s all really my opinion, and a person’s worth cannot be decided by one man. Perhaps we should learn to appreciate the good in everyone. Basically, what I’m trying to say here is that…..
Garfield Kart should’ve won game of the year.