So once upon a time, there was some dude named うんち (which means savior in Japanese). He burned down villages for fun. He had so much fun that he thought, “Hey, this should be a game!” うんちwas then sentenced to death by the villagers. However, うんち’s words lived on. Except, they didn’t, because nobody cared.
Several centuries later, a man named Lechuga (which means holy in Spanish) threw a rock at someone. This was to become the dice. Lechuga was a true mastermind, an unappreciated pioneer. He was also banished by the townsfolk, but that is besides the point. Many children saw Lechuga, and decided to copy him. The dice was so boring, however, that they called it the bored game. The only problem is, the children were so stupid they named it a board game.
Fast forward to when Jesus was born. Games had developed to things like tag and CTF. When Jesus arrived, he was the children playing a new game called fortnite. Disgusted, Jesus left the Earth, vowing to never return.
Now this is where the fun begins. 山内房次郎 founded 任天堂, which created iconic character マリ. 山内房次郎 then went on to create many more characters, such as リンク, ピクミン, and others I’m too lazy to find. 山内房次郎 then created many consoles, such as N64, GameBoy, GameCube, GameBoy Advanced, GameBoy Color, GameBoy Ultra, GameBoy MegaUltra, Gameboy sUpeR dUpEr meGa eDitIon. That’s when 山内房次郎 released the Nintendo 3DS (you can probably guess what game company I’m talking about now). This is where the greatest game of all time was released.
In 2013, November 13, the greatest game of all time was released. Artefacts Studios made and developed my favorite game of all time. Of course, I’m talking about Garfield Kart, available on the Nintendo 3DS. Garfield Kart is a masterpiece, from its rich graphics to its riveting game play. The game is well worth your time. The financial success of Garfield Kart spawned numerous copies, such as Mario Kart, but it is a shameless ripoff of the one and only Garfield Kart. 山内房次郎 also released Super Mario Galaxy, but people longed for a sequel to the brilliant Garfield Kart.
Club Penguin was an amazing game (though not at Garfield Kart’s level) and became famous for the activities you could do in-game. Despite all of this, in March 2017, Club Penguin died in a hole, in a very deep hole, where Disney laughed at its dead body. Yes, this actually happened.
Minecraft is a beloved game by all. 2013 was one of the best years for Minecraft (but Garfield Kart was more popular). Then, Minecraft got thrown into the same pit as Club Penguin, and people danced on its grave.
Then a nightmare came. Since Jesus had been gone for so long, the evil game had decided to come back from centuries ago. fortnite. We are in the dark age of video games now, with things like EA and fortnite. There is only one thing that can save us from this terrible time.
Garfield Kart 2.