If I Were A Wizard…

  1. Steal a wand from the Harry Potter attraction at Universal Studios.
  2. Turn Khang into a pig.
  3. Tape TL’s mouth shut forever.
  4. Punish all my classmates.
  5. Tame a dragon.
  6. Turn my stuff into gold.
  7. Run for president in 2020.
  8. Hold all other candidates hostage.
  9. Become president.
  10. Become a dictator.
  11. Make National Bacon Day.
  12. Make Khang the Pig be the main feast on the first ever National Bacon Day.
  13. Turn TL into an elf.
  14. Make everyone pay ten dollars to throw rotten tomatoes at TL.
  15. Make TL eat the rotten tomatoes.